Prayers for Cooper

Back in January, I notice one of my Facebook friends (Olivia) had her status as “Pray for Cooper – a friend of mine’s son is very sick…” and I didn’t read the rest. I have a very hard time when people are sick but children rip me apart. Such innocence being in such pain that they do not understand.

So I did a quick mental shout to heaven – God you know what that family needs – please take care of them and Cooper.

Well Olivia’s posts were getting more and more frequent and each one with more dire news than that last. Again, being the expert at avoidance, I just threw out a generic prayer and went about my business.

In the middle of February, Olivia’s post said Cooper Going Home. So assuming good news, I allowed myself to click on Cooper’s mom’s blog - http://cotaforcooperk.com/blog to read about him coming home. I missed the word hospice in the coming home statement.

I could not stop the tears reading about this four year old boy with Mitochondrial DNA Depletion Syndrome. His body’s mitochondrial DNA could not support his organs and in January it attacked his last healthy vital organ – his heart.

There are gut wrenching entries from a mother who has brought her four year old son home to die. They moved his bed to the living room, surrounded him with his brothers and sister and tried to make each day special. Cooper’s mom was so torn – not wanting her son to die but not wanting him to suffer. She said in one entry –

There is just not a good answer to any of this for any of us. No matter what, it ends in heart ache and pain and the worst thing imaginable.

Pray for Cooper – Pray for Cooper – It weighed me down. Pray for Cooper. What do you pray??? What do you say to God about this boy??? What words are right? What words work? What words??? What prayer?? I just found myself yelling up to heaven COOPER! Lord heavenly Father – COOPER!

The last couple of entries Cooper’s mom asked that we pray that Cooper stop fighting and let go. Pray that he go to sleep and find himself in God’s arms.

Cooper passed away last night.

I know the next prayers to say – prayers for peace and mercy and comfort for Cooper’s family. There are no words to say to this family but there are prayers. I don’t know the Knight family but they have touched my life and their hearts stay in my prayers.

Some will say but look at how lucky you are. I knew how lucky I was before Cooper died.

Some will say doesn’t it put things in perspective – your life isn’t so bad. You know what – this isn’t a freakin competition on who has more heartache or who’s heartache is worse. I know with every fiber of my being how blessed I am to have Chad, Zachary, and Rylee. A job I love. An amazing home. Obviously plenty of food. I thank God everyday for these gifts and know that part of life is that you never know what tomorrow holds.

I will not compare my life to theirs – I don’t think that is how it works.

I just have not been able to shake this feeling of helplessness and almost ridiculousness at saying prayers for Cooper. Laying in bed at night, staring at the ceiling trying to form words into a prayer or conversation with our Heavenly Father. I never did find the words. My prayer was simply Cooper God – Cooper.