Friday, June 27, 2014

Too Bad Its Not Dessert - I Understand Ice Cream

I write this not as a political comment or even an opinion on whether he is a deserter or not – it is more of an overarching comment on the idea/scenario of deserting.

Recently the US traded three Gitmo prisoners for a US soldier (and since I promised that this was not a political post, I won’t go into how much I disagree with this move.)  The soldier, Army Sgt. Bowe Bergdahl, has been going through a reintegration process and having medical and mental examinations.   However while he may be unaware of all the press surrounding his release, the rest of us are quite aware.

The whole scenario is full of controversy:

  • Why would the make a swap now it puts our overseas soldiers in danger
  • Why was Congress not consulted before the swap
  • His fellow soldiers say he walked off the base that night he disappeared so he is a deserter
While the first point is one I have some opinions on, it is the third that actually inspired this post.

Why does any soldier that is serving on foreign soil especially in hostile territory desert?  Where are they going to go???  It is not like they can live forever in the desert.  They can’t just hitch a ride to the airport and fly back to the US.  I do not understand this concept.  How is walking away from the military and going AWOL in a foreign hostile country better than staying and telling your commander you quit. 

OOOOOHHHHKAAAY – I know it doesn’t really work that way.  You can’t quit just like that but can you stay on the run in Afghanistan forever?

I am not trying to make light of any of anything our soldiers go through who are serving a tour in some of the most hostile environments.  I can’t imagine the toll it takes on a person mentally, emotionally, and physically to be away from loved ones, in constant danger, and not able being to ever relax.  I just genuinely do not understand how running into enemy territory is even considered a solution.  Is it that things have gotten so bad that you don’t think clearly?  Is it that maybe it isn’t as difficult as I think to get home when you run away in Iraq?

I am just perplexed.  When we get updates on the news about the situation and how it seems everyone is mad at Sgt Bergdahl (as well as Obama) my mind just goes to that why would he do it?

I recognize that I will probably never get an answer to my question.  I also will concede that perhaps I am looking for a simple answer to an incredibly complex situation.  One that I thank God that I have never been in…

Wednesday, June 25, 2014

Ce que l'enfer?

On Monday, Rylee greets me with nonsense babble, “Blahsee SheShe Mwah Mwah.”  I make a funny face at her and tell her she is too silly.  She then continues with this strange speech.

I then ask her what we should have for dinner and she responds with “Ploopie Plah Goo RooRoo.”  Fighting my irritation, I tell her that I do not understand what she is saying.

She then informs me that it is Speak Only in French Day.

I laugh and tell her that neither of us speak French.  She then whispers “that’s why you make it up!”


Monday, June 23, 2014

Yes She Does Z!

Ry still watches Nick Jr and Disney Jr a little bit but Z is long over it and done with it.  He tolerates his sister watching because he has no other choice when it is her turn to pick a TV show.  The other night however I truly was amused by his reaction.

Disney Jr. has this short that the runs in between shows about a little girl who has to pee.  I kid you not:

The premise is always the same with each little episode that Nina doesn’t go to the bathroom when her mom asks and Nina waits until it is an emergency and it is horrible timing because they are at the top of a mountain in a full snow suit type of thing.

When the latest one came on, Z huffed, stood up, shook his head and walked away from the TV.  He was so agitated!  I asked what the deal was and he said “I thought this was supposed to be educational shows but she is clearly not learning anything!”  I was confused for a second thinking he was talking about Ry but then he continued “She says at the end of each episode ‘Now I know – don’t wait to go’ but then in the next episode she WAITS again!  She obviously doesn’t really know!”

Seeing that I am not an award winning mom, I am shaking from holding in my giggles at his irritation.

“I can’t even watch it is so ridiculous that she doesn’t get it.  She does need to go -- go away!”

Bwaaaaaa haaaahaaa!!  I agree Z!

Thursday, June 19, 2014


I considered calling this post The Latest Sign of the Apocalypse.  I am just so flabbergasted I can't wrap my brain around it.  My colleague sent me a link to the latest app:

So this idea has raised one MILLION (had to capitalize that word and now I am going to repeat it) MILLION dollars.  I think what has me so fritz is that someone said hey let’s see if we can create and app that only sends the word Yo to folks.  It took a total of 8 hrs to create.  Was this person a genius?  A lucky bastard?  A drunken dare taker?

To compound my perplexion (made that word up – can I get a million dollars?) people are really downloading this app – over 50,000 people – AND there is a million dollars in funding.  So I begin wondering who is downloading and who is funding?  Geniuses? Lucky bastards?  Drunks??

I get that I am not an innovator or entrepreneur and that I am not going to be world famous or rich for my contributions to society but really.  There is someone out there that made money off sending the word Yo.  My co-workers and I look at each other like where did we go wrong?   There are some pretty cool ideas out there – like the person that took every piece of IKEA stock and cross referenced it with various cars and came up with an app that can tell you based on your car which boxes you can fit in your car and how to fit them in there.  Then sold it to IKEA and made a few bucks or so.  Such a practical idea that our office is like I TOTALLY should have come up with that.  Then Yo rolls around and we are stunned.  We’ll continue to drive a hideous commute to work every day so that we can sit inside and make money to pay for the house we are never in or dream of the vacations we never take because we didn’t think to create an app that says Yo.

What does the success of the app say about the people that created the app?
What does the success of the app say about the people downloading the app?
What does the success of the app say about the people funding of the app?
What does the success of the app say about society?
What does the success of the app say about me?

Society…truly I don’t think it is that BIG of a thing to say society is crumbling or we are a society of geniuses that are lucky bastards that drink.  But makes you pause and wonder doesn’t it?!

And what does it say about me?  Nothing really other than it explains why I created the word perplexion.


Friday, June 13, 2014

Half Way Done

I really don’t like when people say – “Oh it goes by so fast” or “Time flies” – it is so very annoying. But I say those things too because I really don’t know what else to say.  And because it is true.  It sucks but it is still true.  I frequently use my stock catch phrase “Life is like a roll of toilet paper – the closer to the end you get the quicker it goes.”

Z turned 9 a few months ago.  It sounds weird to say out loud.  My son is 9.  I have a nine year old.  Z has been a part of my life for nine years.  After going through all the iterations of my son is 9 – I thought – holy crap we are half way through the time we get with him.  I mean when he turns 18 my guess is he’ll go to college and once he steps out of the door that is it.  Our lives will never be the same – his, Chad and mine, and even Rylee – because even when he does come home, he will be “visiting” because his life will be elsewhere as it should be.

How can this sweet beautiful boy only be a part of our lives for nine more years?  How can I only get nine more years of snuggles, smiles, and those giant blue eyes blinking at me from behind the glasses?  How do I only get nine more years of watching him mature, discover, and grow?!  It really isn’t fair.  The idea of letting him go makes my heart break.

I am completely aware that this was part of the deal when I signed on to be a parent.  I KNOW OK!!!  I get it – from the minute he was born it was our responsibility to start teaching him how to be an individual that is self-sufficient and capable on his own making the world better and brighter.  I know that each milestone he has had – from rolling over, to walking, to learning to write his name – has been a benchmark that pulls him a little further away from needing his parents.  Doesn’t take away the fact that it makes me so very sad.  I can’t imagine him not coming down in the middle of the night to tell me he has a bad dream or talking for hours about Pok√©mon or Minecraft.  I find myself sometimes looking up the stair towards his room and imagining what it will feel like when he is not up there.  Only nine more years.

Rumor is that in a few years, I will be claiming that time is not moving fast enough to get my teenager out of the house and into college.  That when he turns 13 or so the drama, the mood swings, the attitude will all convince me that 18 years is plenty and that I won’t cry the day he walks out the door for college but instead will do a happy dance and start counting down the days until Ry is gone too.  OK maybe? Probably? I guess I will feel that way but that is for a future blog post.  In this one, I still want to hold him tighter and remind him every chance I get that I love him and am proud of him.

This week on the radio station I listen to, the DJs were talking about the last song they had downloaded.  The final one was a song called Light by Sleeping At Last.  Now I listen to an alternative rock station (alternative rock-ish – doesn’t play indie rock but more like main stream rock but no Justin Bieber or Katy Perry) so I was expecting something along those lines.  Um no.  People I CRIED on my drive into work!  CRIED from a song.  Seriously.
LIGHT by Sleeping At Last
may these words be the first
to find your ears.
the world is brighter than the sun
now that you’re here.
though your eyes will need some time to adjust
to the overwhelming light surrounding us,
i’ll give you everything i have.
i’ll teach you everything i know.
i promise i’ll do better.
i will always hold you close,
but i will learn to let you go.
i promise i’ll do better.
i will soften every edge,
i’ll hold the world to its best,
and i’ll do better.
with every heartbeat i have left
i will defend your every breath,
and i’ll do better.
’cause you are loved.
you are loved more than you know.
i hereby pledge all of my days
to prove it so.
though your heart is far too young to realize
the unimaginable light you hold inside,
i’ll give you everything i have.
i’ll teach you everything i know.
i promise i’ll do better.
i will always hold you close,
but i will learn to let you go.
i promise i’ll do better.
i will rearrange the stars,
pull ‘em down to where you are.
i promise, i’ll do better.
with every heartbeat i have left,
i’ll defend your every breath.
i promise i’ll do better.
i will soften every edge,
hold the world to its best.
i promise i’ll do better.
with every heartbeat i have left,
i’ll defend your every breath,
(i’ll do better.)
“I will always hold you close, but I will learn to let you go.”  UGH.  Do I have to?

Please go take a listen if you want a good sentimental cry…unless your kid is a teenager. Then you can go listen and laugh at the ridiculousness of it and knowingly shake your head and say just you wait.  Right now…I can wait.  I love you Zachary James higher than any number you can count.  You are always in my heart.

Wednesday, June 11, 2014

If Only They Could Hear Me

This morning on the radio the DJs were discussing the most recent school shooting in Oregon.  Twitter and Facebook are blowing up with map that shows the locations of the 74 school shootings that have happened in the 18 months since Sandy Hook.  The DJs were taking calls to from listeners on their thoughts on why it happened.  There were topics such as:
  • Because we need to confront mental illness and take away the stigma
  • Because we let our kids play video games and they are desensitized
  • Because we need tighter restrictions on assault weapons
I do not have the answer – I truly wish I did.  But don’t you worry I have opinions!

I do believe that mental illness needs to be brought out into the open and take away the shame that comes with diagnosis and treatment.  I do think our kids get desensitized by video games and are forced into mature situations to early but I still let my kids play Xbox. 

Gun control?  Yikes I am not sure how I feel – I do not like guns.  Chad says that it is because I am uneducated about them and they scare me - which is true.  I do not think they are necessary for you to carry on a daily basis unless you are a solider in a warzone and certainly not into a Chipotle.  I guess on some level I do understand wanting to protect your home and family and keeping that right to own a gun.  I also married a man who knows how to hunt and wants to pass that on to our son. So where to balance owning guns for hunting and home invasion protection vs. carrying a weapon in to your workplace or a restaurant because you can – no idea.

Some schools have allowed armed teachers and some people want universities to allow students to carry guns on campus.  Really?  Let’s let the 18 year old that potentially is still drunk from last night carry a fire arm into a lecture hall.  When the latest Fort Hood shooting happened, I turned to Chad and said if a military base FULL of armed people still had this happen why do they think letting college kids carry weapons will keep campuses safer?????

However, out of all these 74 school shootings, or Sandy Hook, or even the horrible shootings at Ft. Hood and the recent Vegas police killings, I don’t know that any of the guns were obtained illegally or  that gun regulations truly would have made a difference.  The kids that did the killing “borrowed” from their parents and I am sure the parents obtained them legally.  I am sure the parents also kept them locked up and followed proper protocol but these kids were old enough to know where they were kept and how to work them.

This post was actually inspired by the fourth comment I heard on the radio:
  • These school shootings are because of the “wussification” of parents.  If parents were able to punish their kids without being accused of child abuse none of this would happen.
I became thoroughly unglued in the car.  I shouted at the radio – at the caller – at the DJs for not countering this point and I am sure my fellow commuters worried I was a little disturbed.  I yelled “Yes let’s use violence on our kids to show them that violence won’t help them solve their problems!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”  Are you KIDDING?????  Beating your kid – ok that is extreme - but even spanking your kid will solve school shootings??  Don’t you think that when your kid does something wrong and you use corporal punishment to hold them accountable that this act will translate to when your kid is being bullied then the bully needs to be punished?

I am all about holding my kids accountable for their actions and behaviors.  If they make a bad decision then they have a consequence – take away electronics or not allow a play date – heck I am not above removing the door off the hinges when they are teens if need be. But I don’t see how hitting my children can really help any situation.  Teaching them to what to do if bullied or how to channel anger or keeping an eye on their mental health might be better approaches don't you think???

I was thinking I should call in and provide a rebuttal but the moment had passed and there was a new caller.  So I screamed at my radio but I did not get any satisfaction so I changed the station.  I really showed them huh?

Friday, June 6, 2014

Just Like That...

We have come to the last day of school and it truly was a fast year.  

August 2013

Ready to face the year

June 2014

Last picture as a kinder and 3rd Grader

Ry is ready for the summer - she has visions of lots of pool time and playing.  Z is his usual apprehensive self.  He is not sure he is ready to leave the third grade and get a new teacher.  He is mature enough to realize this is what he is feeling and he has been worried he might cry like he did the last day of school last year.Change is not his forte (something I have apparently passed along to him) but I bet that once Monday rolls around and he gets to play video games and go to the pool his anxiety will mysteriously disappear. 

Well until August is here and he will face life as a fourth grader.