I Love You Dad and Thank You

I am very proud of my Father – Lieutenant Colonel James Barry Leonard. He served two tours in Vietnam – 1964/65 and 1967 – and saw things that people should not see. I do not know the true extent of horrors that he saw and he will never tell me. I know a few stories – that the jungle was so thick the leaves of the trees actually intertwined allowing my dad and his soldiers to walk on top of the trees and have hand grenades thrown at them from underneath. Or some times Vietnamese kids would wander into their camp with a bomb attached to them. I have heard nasty stories of rats and leeches and yet I have not even scraped into the really bad stuff. I remember watching Platoon when I was about 14 and bawling to think my dad had seen any of that in real life.

I often wonder what my dad would have been like had he not gone to war. The impact of war on him had to have been profound. In his sleep one time home on leave, my dad threw my uncle’s cat into the Christmas tree when it crawled on him and really hurt the cat. He said in his dream it was a rat. Mom said he still was having nightmares when they were married. But I guess I should not spend too much time thinking about how it changed him. My dad is my dad – in all of his flaws and in all of his goodness and his service in the military made him who he is.

I also recognize how lucky I am. I am very aware of the soldiers that do not come home or come home with wounds that can not be fixed – physical, mental, and emotional.

I recently learned that my dad did not leave the military by choice. It makes a lot of sense for me to hear this now – I could never figure out why he left and my mom said that it was a RIF (reduction in force) and he was essentially laid off. Mom said that dad thrived in the military – the structure, the discipline – was all up his alley. He was successful and respected. He had chosen a career as a military officer and that was taken away from him. In 1973, he went into the reserves and never went back into active duty. I remember his retirement in 1993. He had “served” for 30 years and now knowing it was not his choice to leave I wonder if that retirement moment was bittersweet.

I did spend a little time thinking that had he continued in active duty that I would be full-fledged Army brat. My life would be totally different. I am quite happy with how my life turned out so the selfish part of me says “thanks Dad for taking one for the team – because your dreams did not turn out – mine did!” I suck sometimes.

Every Veteran’s Day I send a note to my dad to say thank you. I thank him often for being a dad but once a year I think him for choosing to be a soldier. It is not a role I could ever take or a job I would ever want. But he volunteered and was good at it. He and the millions in the military service across the years deserve all of my appreciation. I am grateful to all of our military. So this year instead of delving deep into my appreciation I had a little story to include in my note to my dad:

From: Martin, Mary Kate
Sent: Thursday, November 11, 2010 10:28 PM
To: Dad
Subject: Happy Veteran's Day!

Hey Dad -- thank you so much for all you did for me, and the rest of our country. I apologize for the late well wishes -- was in Chicago yesterday and today and just now getting to my email.

I do have to tell a story on your grandson.

After I picked up the kids from school, it started raining. On the days that it is raining, I usually drive to the front of the house to pick up the mail and then drive around to the back to park. Lazy I know but the kids get a kick out of it.

Anyway, I drove around today and of course no mail. I said out loud -- "Oh yeah it is Veteran's day - no mail" and Z asks what is Veteran's day.

I tell him we take time to thank all of the soldiers that protect us and fight for us so we can live the great life we have. He said oh ok. Not sure he understood. So I ask him if he knew Gramps was a soldier and on Veteran's day we thank Gramps too for all he did. Z said wow -- Gramps was a soldier. I said that I had pictures of Gramps in his uniform. And Z made me promise to show him.

So we get inside and so begins the hustle and bustle of being home -- dinner, clean up, homework, etc. In the middle of all of it, Z asks to see pictures of Gramps as a soldier and I only have time to show him two with promises that I will show him more later. He asks lots of questions that I tell him he will have to ask Gramps directly because I can't answer.

We finish our night time routine and it was time for us to head up to bed. As we climb up the stairs, Zachary says to me "Mom, there are some very bad men out there. But I don't want you to worry because Gramps and his Army friends will take care of them."

I could have cried. I loved it -- thought you would want to know.


I really was quite taken with Zachary's words. And in true JBL short - sweet - to the point - no emotion fashion my dad's response was:


From: Dad
Sent: Friday, November 12, 2010 12:58 PM
To: Martin, Mary Kate
Subject: Re: Happy Veteran's Day!

Thanks for telling me of Z's confidence in me and my Army buddies. It is heart warming. See you all soon.


I love my dad - I got his short temper and lack of patience, ability to talk for five hours straight barely needing a breath, and a bit of a self righteous attitude. I also got his work ethic, fantastic memory, and prioritizing my life with God as number one. While my dad is not afraid to say I love you or I am proud -- that is the extend of the detail he will go into. So despite the lack of gushy response to my email, I imagine he was as touched as I was thinking that Zachary feels safer knowing Gramps and his friends take care of all the bad guys.

Thank you Dad and thank you to ALL our military, past and present, for keeping us safe from the bad guys.