Good-bye Ms. Carrie

September 17th was an emotional day for me. But only me. Zachary, Carrie, Rylee, Chad - no one recognizes the day as anything other than a day. It was Zachary's last day at Ms. Carries. A few weeks earlier, we gave Carrie -- also known as Ms. Carrie from Carries House Daycare (http://www.carrieshouse.com/) -- our two week notice and Zachary's offical last day would be September 19, 2008 (although she ended up closing for the 18th and 19th.) Two years and three months after he started on June 19, 2006.

(EARLY DAYS AT MS. CARRIES)

When we dropped off Zachary for the first time at Ms. Carries he was so little. He had been going to a friend's house, but she was getting ready to have her third child so it was time for Z to move on to a new place. We found Ms. Carrie by going through the Texas Family Services. Carrie is licensed and registered and a mile from our home. Perfect criteria for us. We went for an interview and Zachary was immediately comfortable.

I never had apprehension dropping him off those early years. Carrie said he was a good boy but he did take a while to warm up to his new situation. By the end of the summer, Zachary was using sign language to say please, more, eat and I was very impressed.

(ZACHARY SAYING PLEASE IN SIGN LANGUAGE)

The next years for Zachary were great. He learned so much and had fun and made the cutest things. Carrie also made little things for the parents on holidays that included pictures. She also sent us pictures she took during the day via Snapfish so we could see what he was up to. I loved seeing him at play or cutting or painting. I could not have asked for better care for my son.

Zachary had developed good relationships with the others at Carries -- they were like a little gang! When Zachary started at 16 months, he joined Devon (2yrs), Grant (2 yrs), Kaylee (14 months), Emma (10 months), Kylie (almost a year), and Sofie (8 months). Olivia arrived at Ms. Carries shortly after and is three months younger than Z. This little group stayed in tact for quite a while we lost Grant and Kaylee along the way but Zachary had the others in his daily world until last spring. Devon, Sofie and Kylie all went to another in home daycare.

(THE CARRIE'S HOUSE KIDDOS SUMMER 2006)

(THE CARRIES HOUSE KIDDOS OCTOBER 2007)

(THE CARRIE'S HOUSE KIDDOS FEBRUARY 2008)

Over time, Chad and I also developed relationships with this little gang's parents. We started having bbqs and dropping our kids off to be watch for a date night. We grew so comfy and we are so grateful for their friendship.

Soon after Z turn 2, Carrie did ask when we were sending him to preschool. We hadn't intended to do anything until he was four but were shocked by her request. She didn't push the issue but at 3 she said she really felt like he was ready.

In June of 2008, Carrie closed for a week of vacation and we had no where to put our poor child. Because of Rylee's impending birth the grandmothers were saving vacation, I had no vacation to spare because of my upcoming mat leave, and Chad had a humongous project do and couldn't be out of the office. In desperation, we decided to pay an obscene amount of money to send him to TLC the daycare where my boss sends her daughter. We had to pay like we were enrolling him so even though he was only staying a week we paid the enrollment/admission fee, the supply fee, and the tuition.

It was worth it -- he LOVED it. Every day was "the best day ever" according to him. We (read I) was worried how he would do and we tried to talk up "school" to prepare him but he did just fine. Actually I think he excelled. Even back at Carrie's, he talked about how fun school is. I think Carrie took this as a cue and asked again when he was going to preschool because he was definitely ready.

I must at this time step backwards again -- cuz the blog entry just isn't log enough - and bring Rylee into the picture a bit. We told Carrie in February (the 21st to be exact) that we were pregnant and wanted her to come to Carrie's house. She said she would put her on the list but couldn't guarantee anything because she didn't know what would change before Rylee's arrival. But we could put a deposit down a month before she was to start and hold a spot. Chad said that maybe Rylee could take Z's spot and we'll leave him there until she was born. Carrie explained that it doesn't work that way. The state has certain ratios and she can keep one infant or two toddlers. So Chad told her to let us know if she felt like she was getting full and we may put a deposit down then.

Fast forward again to June and my response to Carrie was that we would be pulling Z in the next coming months but weren't sure exactly when because of Rylee. We didn't know if we should pull him before she is born so his schedule can stabilize before she was born or wait until she starts Ms. Carrie's and let me kind of mentor her in and he could "watch out" for her for awhile.

Essentially, I hemmed and hawed for a long time and couldn't decide. So Z just kept going to Carries.

The week after Rylee was born, Carrie took on three toddlers. Chad and I didn't think twice about it because we assumed Carrie would tell us she was getting full.

After a couple of weeks on mat leave, I started picking up Z from Carries. I would bring in Rylee and talk with Carrie and the other parents. I talked about her temperament and told Carrie Rylee would be a good girl for Carrie. I told Carrie that Rylee's diapers were those yellow ones and Carrie would have fun with those. Carrie didn't say a word.

Then about the last week of August when I was picking up Z, Carrie asked me about Zachary's curriculum fee. She said that if he was leaving then it wouldn't be worth it for us to pay it. I apologized that we hadn't gotten back to her on the whole is he staying or going. I told her we would let her know for sure by the weekend if we were going to let him stay at Carries with Rylee for awhile or pull him and just send her.

It was then Carrie looked at me and in front of the kids and other parents said "I am not taking Rylee. I just took on three new kids." The devastation and pain I felt in that moment was unreal. (looking back it had a lot to do with hormones too!!) I can't imagine the face I must have made because she said "I told you I might not be able to take her." I turned to leave because I was about to break down into full on meltdown mode. I sucked back tears like I never have in my life.

Of course at that moment one of the mothers I adore walks up with a gift for Rylee and I have to grab the bag and run with the lamest thank you ever tossed at her. I am quite sure Emily was a little freaked.

I get in the car and try not to let Z know I am bawling. He is just talking about his day and I am not listening to a word. Again my hormones were in full swing! But I truly was so hurt that my heart broke. I couldn't look at Carrie the next few days.

Then I got mad. HOW could she take on three new kids knowing we were planning on bringing Rylee? When was she planning on telling us - when I dropped her off my first day back a work??? I than began thinking she planned this. She was tired of Zachary and forced our hand to remove him from her daycare. It's not like we would leave Z there and send Rylee somewhere else.

OK so perhaps I was a little paranoid, a lot hormonal, and just sad that my daughter wouldn't get this personal care I loved.

My boss Amy sent me the best note ever. She point these things out about Rylee going to TLC:

Look at it this way:
*She wont be around other children who are much bigger than her so she can’t get hurt
*Think of all the free vacation time you will have back by not ever having to take off because TLC won’t close like she will
*Think of all the gas and time you will save by having one location to pick up and drop off at
*Emma is just next door so she can come over to check on little Rylee if she needs a friend
*That witch director won’t always manage TLC
*TLC is very pro booby milk

God bless you Amy!

It took a good three weeks to get to a point where I can look at it a little less biased. I needed to look at it from Carrie's perspective. This daycare is her business. She is in it to survive and make money. The economy is for crap right now. She can make more money with three toddlers than with one infant. It just made good business sense. So I came up with a phrase that if I do say so myself belongs in a calendar or quote book somewhere:

Carrie didn't do this to me. Carrie did this for her.

I feel so blessed that Zachary got the time with her that he did. And he was so ready to move on academically and socially - everything happens for a reason right?

Last week on the way home from school, Zachary started saying something about when he goes back to Ms. Carrie’s house. I told him that he wasn’t going back to Ms. Carrie’s house and he said very sadly “Oh. OK.” So I asked him do you not like school? And he said “No I LOVE school – it is fun. I just really miss Ms. Carrie.”

So Ms. Carrie thank you for taking care of our most precious treasure and teaching him all the things you did. He is definitely better for it. We do miss you.

(ZACHARY AND MS. CARRIE)