There is a stranger in the house. Doesn't talk much, basically self centered, but she is making the gradual effort to fit in. A stare here, a giggle there; she is coming around.
I get to meet a little more of her each day.
The unlocking of her little mind is an incredible journey. Each day, some epiphany blooms on her face. Someday soon, I'll forget that she wasn't all here at first. I'll forget that all we got was a cry for communication. But- I hope I also always remember that she was contented to show love by snuggling under my chin. -CMM
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
Friday, January 23, 2009
Your Daily Dose of QPM
So yesterday morning I faced an interesting dilemma. My son has horrible dry skin issues which also affect his lips. He is constantly licking his lips giving him the raw-peely-you-tell-by-looking-it-hurts lips. Chad and I frequently slather both our children with Aquaphor hoping that their skin will someday be smooth and not so red, bumpy and itchy.
In the rush to get out the door, I was a bad mom. Totally forgot and did not smear my son with the miracle vaseline. So as I was getting him out of the car at school, I notice those poor, pathetic, cracked to point of bleeding (TOLD YOU I was a bad mom) lips. I started digging around my purse for my chapstick and I could only find Burt's Bees tinted lip balm.
Decision time. In this quandary do I:
A. Leave him miserable with those bleeding lips
or
B. Coat his lips with Fig Lip Shimmer
The answer is best summed up by this question from Zachary – “Mommy why are you making me wear lipstick?”
I wonder if he said anything to his teacher or friends. Maybe they didn’t notice the reddish/brown color on my son’s lips. Or maybe his teacher and classmates thought he drank some koolaid at breakfast.
In the rush to get out the door, I was a bad mom. Totally forgot and did not smear my son with the miracle vaseline. So as I was getting him out of the car at school, I notice those poor, pathetic, cracked to point of bleeding (TOLD YOU I was a bad mom) lips. I started digging around my purse for my chapstick and I could only find Burt's Bees tinted lip balm.
Decision time. In this quandary do I:
A. Leave him miserable with those bleeding lips
or
B. Coat his lips with Fig Lip Shimmer
The answer is best summed up by this question from Zachary – “Mommy why are you making me wear lipstick?”
I wonder if he said anything to his teacher or friends. Maybe they didn’t notice the reddish/brown color on my son’s lips. Or maybe his teacher and classmates thought he drank some koolaid at breakfast.
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
A Pictures is Worth...A Giggle!
On the trip home from San Angelo after Christmas, Zachary watched Wall-E. The movie got us from San Angelo to almost Cisco (about 2 hrs.) He then pulled out the movie he wanted to watch next (a Thomas one ) and wanted me to switch it out for him. About the same time Rylee woke up and was fussy. I asked Chad if we could stop for a break in Cisco and listening to our two children complain he was happy to oblige.
However when we got to I-20 and Cisco there wasn't a good place to stop so we decided to travel on to Eastland nine miles down the road. We usually stop there anyway, I just thought with antsy kids we could try Cisco -- now we know better.
So I explain to Z that we will stop in about 10 mins and I will change out his movie then. I try to comfort Rylee without seeing her since her seat is behind me. I talk in that annoying sing-song voice and call her name. In the mean time, Zachary keeps asking if I will switch his movie. UGH!
With about two miles to go, I reassure Zachary that we are about to stop and I will change the movie then. Rylee has settled -- either annoyed that we aren't paying attention to her or lulled to contentment by my sing-songing voice.
We exit at Eastland, pull into McDonalds, and I turn around and see this:
Notice the movie on his finger (so he doesn't get fingerprints on the DVD) ready to be changed. In the less than five minutes from my last assurance, he completely passed out.
I told Chad that we should go ahead and stop since I needed to feed Rylee anyway. I open the car door to get her out and she too has passed out in that brief five minutes!!
Crack me up these kids -- vacation -- especially Christmas vacation -- is exhausting!
However when we got to I-20 and Cisco there wasn't a good place to stop so we decided to travel on to Eastland nine miles down the road. We usually stop there anyway, I just thought with antsy kids we could try Cisco -- now we know better.
So I explain to Z that we will stop in about 10 mins and I will change out his movie then. I try to comfort Rylee without seeing her since her seat is behind me. I talk in that annoying sing-song voice and call her name. In the mean time, Zachary keeps asking if I will switch his movie. UGH!
With about two miles to go, I reassure Zachary that we are about to stop and I will change the movie then. Rylee has settled -- either annoyed that we aren't paying attention to her or lulled to contentment by my sing-songing voice.
We exit at Eastland, pull into McDonalds, and I turn around and see this:
Notice the movie on his finger (so he doesn't get fingerprints on the DVD) ready to be changed. In the less than five minutes from my last assurance, he completely passed out.
I told Chad that we should go ahead and stop since I needed to feed Rylee anyway. I open the car door to get her out and she too has passed out in that brief five minutes!!
Crack me up these kids -- vacation -- especially Christmas vacation -- is exhausting!
Monday, January 12, 2009
My Children, My Love
My mom told me when I was pregnant with Zachary that having a child is like having your heart walk around outside of your body. I also remember reading something like that in a Chicken Soup book somewhere along the way. I am quite sure that any parent will attest this statement is very true.
I am stunned at the emotions and feelings my children can illicit just by being them. The joy and the frustration and the wonder – anything they feel effects me. The intensity can be frightening to me.
Over the holidays, Rylee got sick. Like ugly-vomiting-if-wasn’t-sleeping-was-crying sick. At one point, probably about 2 in the morning, I just cried holding her. I love her so much and couldn’t do a thing for her but hold her and pray that the vomiting would end soon. How unfair that she can’t tell me what hurts or what makes her feel better.
This past weekend, Zachary was running a fever over 101 – he felt like he could fry an egg on his forehead. During his sleep, he was shivering, laying in a pool of his sweat, and moaning. At one point he called out for me and I ran into his room wanting to fix it.
I was amazed at how much love I could feel for my child and the helplessness that came with it.
It seems awfully ironic – the people I want to do the most for (specifically Chad, Z, and Rylee) I only have limited things I can do. I look at my kids with their beautiful eyes taking in all that is around them and I cringe at the thought of heartbreak and failures that lie ahead for them – again things I can not control. The tears they will cry from outside forces or self induced decisions and the ones that I will cry along with them scares me a little.
That I can love another so much is a gift. I love Chad with a love I know is from God – there is no way what I feel is something other than divine, holy, and spiritual but that is a blog for another day. With my children it is an awesome power and responsibility. Think Spiderman.
My friend Stephanie (Lady Steele) posted the words to In My Daughter’s Eyes by Martina McBride The wisdom of the iPhone. Although I am not familiar with the song, I was struck by the words and panicked by the pressure. What happens when they figure out I can’t fix everything, I don’t really know all the answers, and I am faking this parent thing? According to Martina, right now they look at me like a hero – strong and wise. Gulp.
There are so many things I am that I don’t want to pass on to my kids. There are so many things I want them to believe and have passion for that aren’t in my makeup. I know who I want to be in my children’s eyes but I am not that person. I know who I want them to be but don’t know how to get them there.
And yet despite the illnesses I can not cure, the tears that will come, the “winging” it with the parental stuff, and the flawed human mom that I am, I am grateful to God that He would trust Chad and me with these two precious lives. Thank you for showing me all that comes with love.
I am stunned at the emotions and feelings my children can illicit just by being them. The joy and the frustration and the wonder – anything they feel effects me. The intensity can be frightening to me.
Over the holidays, Rylee got sick. Like ugly-vomiting-if-wasn’t-sleeping-was-crying sick. At one point, probably about 2 in the morning, I just cried holding her. I love her so much and couldn’t do a thing for her but hold her and pray that the vomiting would end soon. How unfair that she can’t tell me what hurts or what makes her feel better.
This past weekend, Zachary was running a fever over 101 – he felt like he could fry an egg on his forehead. During his sleep, he was shivering, laying in a pool of his sweat, and moaning. At one point he called out for me and I ran into his room wanting to fix it.
I was amazed at how much love I could feel for my child and the helplessness that came with it.
It seems awfully ironic – the people I want to do the most for (specifically Chad, Z, and Rylee) I only have limited things I can do. I look at my kids with their beautiful eyes taking in all that is around them and I cringe at the thought of heartbreak and failures that lie ahead for them – again things I can not control. The tears they will cry from outside forces or self induced decisions and the ones that I will cry along with them scares me a little.
That I can love another so much is a gift. I love Chad with a love I know is from God – there is no way what I feel is something other than divine, holy, and spiritual but that is a blog for another day. With my children it is an awesome power and responsibility. Think Spiderman.
My friend Stephanie (Lady Steele) posted the words to In My Daughter’s Eyes by Martina McBride The wisdom of the iPhone. Although I am not familiar with the song, I was struck by the words and panicked by the pressure. What happens when they figure out I can’t fix everything, I don’t really know all the answers, and I am faking this parent thing? According to Martina, right now they look at me like a hero – strong and wise. Gulp.
There are so many things I am that I don’t want to pass on to my kids. There are so many things I want them to believe and have passion for that aren’t in my makeup. I know who I want to be in my children’s eyes but I am not that person. I know who I want them to be but don’t know how to get them there.
And yet despite the illnesses I can not cure, the tears that will come, the “winging” it with the parental stuff, and the flawed human mom that I am, I am grateful to God that He would trust Chad and me with these two precious lives. Thank you for showing me all that comes with love.
Friday, January 9, 2009
So I will remember when...
This post is for documentation – no punch line at the end…I just want to remember these days.
On Sunday (Jan 4) Rylee started sitting up almost by herself, and then on Monday she was definitely up 15+ seconds. If she leaned forward or backward, she could upright herself like a weeble-wobble however if she tipped right or left she was down for the count.
Then last night when I came home Chad had me run to her room to watch her flip over from her back. She isn’t quite making it all the way but her shoulders and one leg (yes awkward) roll over. Soon enough she’ll be tossing and turning in addition to that leg thumping thing she does at night.
She has had a runny nose (clear snot) for over four weeks now. If I am done with her snot bubbles, heavy panting, and inability to breathe out her nose, I can’t imagine how she is feeling. This nose situation in addition to a scary little cough and an outbreak of RSV at school had me taking her to the doctor on Monday. Apparently she has a cold so we will have to just wait out the snotty nose. But I ask you does a child’s snotty nose really ever run out?
At this same appointment, Dr. Berger asked about the rash that was all over her body. I had noticed the rash and assumed it was eczema because I had been REALLY bad about watching my dairy intake over the holiday (it’s cranberry bliss season people! Who really has the strength to say no to that goodness?!?!!) I had been suffering the guilt only a mother can feel when her lack of willpower causes her sweet innocent baby such ugly harm. Dr. Berger came to my rescue in a sort of twisted way. She said it looked like a strep rash (didn’t even know strep had a rash!) and tested little Ms. R. Sure enough it was strep and even better it's treatable!! After one dose of antibiotics, her rash had faded and by the third dose it was gone completely. Now if that runny nose would just disappear too.
Sunday night I had the greatest time with Zachary. We sat on Chad and I’s bed and he made me “gorgeous.” He took hair brushes, combs, clips, make up brushes, foundation sponges, and eye makeup and he fluffed and patted and yanked and brushed for at least 20 minutes making me “gorgeous.” And that is his word – gorgeous. Chad says it is from a robot in the Wall-E movie. He tries to say it with a bit of an east coast accent along with “I'm good honey – I'm good” also in this strange east coast sounding accent. I would have busted out laughing if I weren’t enjoying all of this attention. He kept saying – “Mommy it takes a lot to make you gorgeous or we still aren’t done-you are not gorgeous yet” – while sounding like backhanded comments to a random observer they were sweet lovely words for a mom being pampered by her son. So on Wednesday after he got his haircut and was sitting in the chair, I said “you look gorgeous.” My little man was mortified. He shook his head and said “No Mommy. Please don’t say that to me.” Was this my first (as I know there will be thousands more) time for embarrassing my son in public?? He is definitely growing up too fast for me to keep up with. He moved to the next room at school – he is PreK 1 with the other four year olds. But he isn’t four! At least not for 39 more days…did I mention it is moving fast?
On Sunday (Jan 4) Rylee started sitting up almost by herself, and then on Monday she was definitely up 15+ seconds. If she leaned forward or backward, she could upright herself like a weeble-wobble however if she tipped right or left she was down for the count.
Then last night when I came home Chad had me run to her room to watch her flip over from her back. She isn’t quite making it all the way but her shoulders and one leg (yes awkward) roll over. Soon enough she’ll be tossing and turning in addition to that leg thumping thing she does at night.
She has had a runny nose (clear snot) for over four weeks now. If I am done with her snot bubbles, heavy panting, and inability to breathe out her nose, I can’t imagine how she is feeling. This nose situation in addition to a scary little cough and an outbreak of RSV at school had me taking her to the doctor on Monday. Apparently she has a cold so we will have to just wait out the snotty nose. But I ask you does a child’s snotty nose really ever run out?
At this same appointment, Dr. Berger asked about the rash that was all over her body. I had noticed the rash and assumed it was eczema because I had been REALLY bad about watching my dairy intake over the holiday (it’s cranberry bliss season people! Who really has the strength to say no to that goodness?!?!!) I had been suffering the guilt only a mother can feel when her lack of willpower causes her sweet innocent baby such ugly harm. Dr. Berger came to my rescue in a sort of twisted way. She said it looked like a strep rash (didn’t even know strep had a rash!) and tested little Ms. R. Sure enough it was strep and even better it's treatable!! After one dose of antibiotics, her rash had faded and by the third dose it was gone completely. Now if that runny nose would just disappear too.
Sunday night I had the greatest time with Zachary. We sat on Chad and I’s bed and he made me “gorgeous.” He took hair brushes, combs, clips, make up brushes, foundation sponges, and eye makeup and he fluffed and patted and yanked and brushed for at least 20 minutes making me “gorgeous.” And that is his word – gorgeous. Chad says it is from a robot in the Wall-E movie. He tries to say it with a bit of an east coast accent along with “I'm good honey – I'm good” also in this strange east coast sounding accent. I would have busted out laughing if I weren’t enjoying all of this attention. He kept saying – “Mommy it takes a lot to make you gorgeous or we still aren’t done-you are not gorgeous yet” – while sounding like backhanded comments to a random observer they were sweet lovely words for a mom being pampered by her son. So on Wednesday after he got his haircut and was sitting in the chair, I said “you look gorgeous.” My little man was mortified. He shook his head and said “No Mommy. Please don’t say that to me.” Was this my first (as I know there will be thousands more) time for embarrassing my son in public?? He is definitely growing up too fast for me to keep up with. He moved to the next room at school – he is PreK 1 with the other four year olds. But he isn’t four! At least not for 39 more days…did I mention it is moving fast?
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
Z Quotes
Just a few quick Zachary quotes for the evening:
Tonight he read a story about a pal-a-kitder (The Very Hungery Caterpiller).
Z has figured out what he wants for next christmas: "I want a power ranger, the one with a motorcyle with it. And a tinkerbell."
Tonight he read a story about a pal-a-kitder (The Very Hungery Caterpiller).
Z has figured out what he wants for next christmas: "I want a power ranger, the one with a motorcyle with it. And a tinkerbell."
Friday, January 2, 2009
The QPM Game
I had to tag on to Chad's QPM entry on Dec 30th. I am the queen of QPMs -- in fact Chad may have coined that phrase for me. And as "cute" as the question period is supposed to be in a young boy's life, it can make a parent totally nutty.
Z and I spent the majority of the drive to school in a simple banter:
Z: Why are you dropping me off at school?
MK: Because Daddy is picking you up.
Z: Why is Daddy picking me up?
MK: Because I am dropping you off.
Z: Why are you dropping me off at school?
MK: Because Daddy is picking you up.
Z: Why is Daddy picking me up?
MK: Because I am dropping you off.
Over and over and over
And it is the daily conversations like this that have lead to a HUGE QPM by Chad and me. We have turned this into a game. We have taken this precious time in our son's life and turned it into a competition. Call up CPS now...
Whoever can answer Zachary's question with something that keeps him from asking another or changes the subject gets a point. Whoever can simply stump our son into complete silence gets ten points. Yes we are evil. And after reading about Chad's elephant answer in the previous post, I am sure you know HE is winning.
Z and I spent the majority of the drive to school in a simple banter:
Z: Why are you dropping me off at school?
MK: Because Daddy is picking you up.
Z: Why is Daddy picking me up?
MK: Because I am dropping you off.
Z: Why are you dropping me off at school?
MK: Because Daddy is picking you up.
Z: Why is Daddy picking me up?
MK: Because I am dropping you off.
Over and over and over
And it is the daily conversations like this that have lead to a HUGE QPM by Chad and me. We have turned this into a game. We have taken this precious time in our son's life and turned it into a competition. Call up CPS now...
Whoever can answer Zachary's question with something that keeps him from asking another or changes the subject gets a point. Whoever can simply stump our son into complete silence gets ten points. Yes we are evil. And after reading about Chad's elephant answer in the previous post, I am sure you know HE is winning.
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