Freudian Stew

Day 21: A favorite recipe

My ability to turn the most innocent task into something that is life examining heart aching and head spinning is one for the crazy doctors. I started this post forever ago and then stopped because I made it into something it need not be.

I think I am extra sensitive with the whole cooking thing. I constantly tell anyone who will listen that I don't cook - I microwave. I am famous (well to my kids) for my fast easy kid friendly meals. And it really bothers me. I only have myself to blame - I am the one that started the rumor and I perpetuate it with my comments and actions. When favorite recipe turned up in the post challenge rotation, I froze.

I began running through recipes in my head which not shockingly was blank. There are certain meals I associate with my mom and what she cooked for us when I was little. I already described that drama in a previous post but at least I remember her cooking and having meals - even if they involved vegetables and whole wheat. That led to me questioning what will my kids associate with me and "cooking" - mac n cheese w/ hot dogs? Chicken dinos? (translation chicken nuggets in the shape of dinosaurs) Turkey lunch meat, Kraft cheese slice rolled up in a tortilla with a side of Cheetos and mandarin oranges???

Sad truth is that I don’t cook. But the flip side of it is not that I can’t cook – because I can – it is that I am not a natural cook. I am a rule following cook. If the recipe calls for 1 cup – by golly I put in exactly one cup – no more no less. My mother in law teases me about my measuring. She thinks it is hilarious that I will use a knife blade to make sure that I scrape off any extra ingredient from my measuring cup so that only the required amount goes into the recipe. I do not deviate from what is written – doesn’t call for salt? Then I do not add salt. Chad would.

Chad is a freestyler in the kitchen. It is quite a show and usually an amazing result. He doesn’t crack open a recipe book or have a plan – he just starts pulling stuff out of the fridge and pantry and figures it out as he goes. He’ll throw in spices and oil and this and that and majority of the time dinner is really good. We call these meals his Concoctos. When we first started dating through when Z was young, we had Concocto for dinner often.

Kids and job has kept Chad out of the kitchen most days so it is left to me to heat up dinner. He did give me a four ingredient recipe cookbook for Christmas and it’s great and I have used it but nothing that is a signature dish. One I want the kids to remember I made for them.

I also use the working mom-no time excuse for their fast easy meals. While there really is truth to it, there are also work arounds to make sure my family gets a real meal – I just don’t use those options. I try to leave work everyday by 4:30 (usually ends up around 5pm) to go pick up Ry. Assuming no traffic issues, I get to her about 5:40ish. Then I go and pick up Z – get him about 6ish and we are home by 6:15 pm. Kids are starving and now I need to make dinner. When I cook, we usually do not eat until 7pm or later. If I microwave chicken dinos, dump canned green beans in a bowl, and cut up an apple – walah! Dinner is served in 15 mins.

My boss doesn’t understand. Her family has a home made meal every night of the week. The catch is she spends her entire Sunday cooking – she makes five meals for the week all on Sunday and freezes and refrigerates the food so she only has to heat it up that night. I really REALLY do not want to spending hours creating meals all day on Sunday – so many other fun things to do!

I did go through a phase where I would cook the next day’s dinner after the kids had gone to bed using my boss’ philosophy of just having to heating it up at dinner time. But then I was up late cooking, doing dishes (sort of!), and not having any time to do other things.

Today’s topic was probably intended to be just a random interesting fun non-stressful thing and I let it get in and twist into a self esteem buster. I really think I have a talent for that. I am not the cooking mom I want to be for my kids. I think it sucks that I never will be. I don’t want my grandkids to hear stories of cereal for dinner – I want them to ask for that fun meal their dad used to eat. My mother in law comes in and cooks her famous meatloaf and my kids eat it!! My picky kids eat it!

I am not the domestic crafty mom that can whip up a home made meal with all food groups represented while setting the table with hand crafted napkin rings and fresh bouquet of flowers as a center piece.

Ok now I am just being snarky and bitter. It is just easier some days to find all the ways I wish I was a better mom and person than it is to see what is going well. I just love my family so much and want them to have the best. Some sort of Donna Reed, Claire Huxtable, Elise Keaton, Mrs. C combo. Dear God even Roseanne cooked for her family!! Course Lorelei Gilmore was all about Chinese take out and I think she is kind of cool! And Rory seemed to turn out ok…

Digress, digress, digress.

After that Debbie Downer of an entry do you still want a recipe?? My standby go to recipe for a party is from my Mother in Law – Spinach Dip – super easy and goes with veggies, chips, or even a bread bowl.

1 cup of Mayo
1 cup of Sour Cream
1 pkg frozen spinach
1 can sliced water chestnuts
1 bunch green onions
1 TBSP Lemon Juice
1 TBSP Season Salt

Cook the spinach and mix with all of the other ingredients and you have a dip ready to go. I personally slice the water chestnuts even more so there are more to go around. It will also taste better is you make it and let it sit in the fridge for awhile before serving. Chad usually comes in after it has been in the fridge awhile and adds more lemon juice or season salt to get it just right...freestyling it.