One of the twists of having children is the unexpected moments they bring to our lives -- those times where I really don't think my brain can churn an answer fast enough or accurate enough or parental enough. These moments always occur when my guard is down.
Zachary had checked out a book from the library -- it was a Star Wars book - yes he is the definition of obsessed. It was divided into three stories in one book so we were reading a story a night at bedtime. On this particular night, the story was about a battle between the Jedi and Clones versus the Battle Droids and how the Battle Droids thought their ambush would destroy the Jedi but the Jedi outsmarted them, etc etc.
A very tiny little subplot -- not even two pages worth of story - was about the Jedi trying to evacuate the civilians to a safe location. There were lines of people waiting to get on the transport however all of these people had all of their possessions with them. The Jedi then had to make a tough call and told all the civilians that only people were getting on the transport and they would have to leave all of their things behind.
There were protests -- "my mother's china - my grandpa's picture -- they have to come --I will NOT leave them." One guy hid all his stuff under a coat trying to smuggle it on board. But the Jedi drew the line -- people only. Then one farmer tried to bring his elephant dog thing on the transport but the Jedi said no. The farmer said that this elephant dog thing was like family and he could not leave it behind. The Jedi said to the farmer then you pick three of your neighbors to stay behind so that your elephant dog can get on the transport. The farmer looks at the people and then kisses his elephant dog thing and says to it -- Run to the desert and when the battle is over I will come find you and bring you home. The elephant dog cried and then ran away.
Again I must state this whole scene was two pages out of 30.
After Z's story, Rylee picked hers - Llama Llama series or Go Dog Go -- something of that nature. We then followed our usual bed time process. Lights out - prayers - kisses - take Rylee to bed then come back to tickle Z's back for a few minutes and then night night.
When I returned to Z's room to tickle his back, he rolled over and had those giant-only-a-kid-can-make tears rolling down his eyes. I was so startled. He wasn't sobbing -- just eyes full of tears and they were leaving shiny streaks on his cheeks. I asked him what was wrong and he said that he was so sad for the farmer to leave his pet. He said he just didn't understand why the elephant dog had to stay because it might die in the battle.
The value of Human life versus Animal Life actually Pet Life - Oh my. I am so over my head -- I try to pause to form my words correctly but I don't even know what words to try.
I attempt to explain that while pets are very important and very loved in this situation we have to save the people before the pets. Trying to put it in a little perspective I pose the example if we had to pick between the elephant dog and Rylee we would pick Rylee - right? Silence. I restate - we can't leave your sister and take the pet - right? More silence. It is kind of funny from a sibling rivalry point of view but at the time I was grasping at anything to help my son understand and say “Zachary - we can’t leave Rylee!”
I try the distraction technique -- "Don't worry Zachary when the battle was over the farmer came back and found his elephant dog and they lived together on the farm. It was a hard choice for the farmer but it worked out fine."
Z responds - "but Mom what if the battle droids had won and the pet had died because the farmer chose to leave him."
Now I have giant tears. I am so full of love for my sensitive caring loving boy but I am frustrated that I cannot adequately explain the situation.
So I just push forward with the truth. I tell him that if the pet had died the farmer would have been so very sad. That it would have been so hard for the farmer and he would miss his elephant dog. That the farmer may have even gotten angry with the Jedi for making him leave that family pet behind. But after time, the farmer would know that while his beloved pet died, a family was able to keep three of their loved people.
He still had the tears streaming and he kind of nodded and rolled over. He sniffed and said “You’re right. We can’t leave Rylee but I am still sad.”
I lay down next to him and tickled his back and said “I know you are baby.”
From Star Wars bed time story to a discussion on the value of life…I am a seriously underprepared parent of a beautifully compassionate boy.
