One of the twists of having children is the unexpected moments they bring to our lives -- those times where I really don't think my brain can churn an answer fast enough or accurate enough or parental enough. These moments always occur when my guard is down.
Zachary had checked out a book from the library -- it was a Star Wars book - yes he is the definition of obsessed. It was divided into three stories in one book so we were reading a story a night at bedtime. On this particular night, the story was about a battle between the Jedi and Clones versus the Battle Droids and how the Battle Droids thought their ambush would destroy the Jedi but the Jedi outsmarted them, etc etc.
A very tiny little subplot -- not even two pages worth of story - was about the Jedi trying to evacuate the civilians to a safe location. There were lines of people waiting to get on the transport however all of these people had all of their possessions with them. The Jedi then had to make a tough call and told all the civilians that only people were getting on the transport and they would have to leave all of their things behind.
There were protests -- "my mother's china - my grandpa's picture -- they have to come --I will NOT leave them." One guy hid all his stuff under a coat trying to smuggle it on board. But the Jedi drew the line -- people only. Then one farmer tried to bring his elephant dog thing on the transport but the Jedi said no. The farmer said that this elephant dog thing was like family and he could not leave it behind. The Jedi said to the farmer then you pick three of your neighbors to stay behind so that your elephant dog can get on the transport. The farmer looks at the people and then kisses his elephant dog thing and says to it -- Run to the desert and when the battle is over I will come find you and bring you home. The elephant dog cried and then ran away.
Again I must state this whole scene was two pages out of 30.
After Z's story, Rylee picked hers - Llama Llama series or Go Dog Go -- something of that nature. We then followed our usual bed time process. Lights out - prayers - kisses - take Rylee to bed then come back to tickle Z's back for a few minutes and then night night.
When I returned to Z's room to tickle his back, he rolled over and had those giant-only-a-kid-can-make tears rolling down his eyes. I was so startled. He wasn't sobbing -- just eyes full of tears and they were leaving shiny streaks on his cheeks. I asked him what was wrong and he said that he was so sad for the farmer to leave his pet. He said he just didn't understand why the elephant dog had to stay because it might die in the battle.
The value of Human life versus Animal Life actually Pet Life - Oh my. I am so over my head -- I try to pause to form my words correctly but I don't even know what words to try.
I attempt to explain that while pets are very important and very loved in this situation we have to save the people before the pets. Trying to put it in a little perspective I pose the example if we had to pick between the elephant dog and Rylee we would pick Rylee - right? Silence. I restate - we can't leave your sister and take the pet - right? More silence. It is kind of funny from a sibling rivalry point of view but at the time I was grasping at anything to help my son understand and say “Zachary - we can’t leave Rylee!”
I try the distraction technique -- "Don't worry Zachary when the battle was over the farmer came back and found his elephant dog and they lived together on the farm. It was a hard choice for the farmer but it worked out fine."
Z responds - "but Mom what if the battle droids had won and the pet had died because the farmer chose to leave him."
Now I have giant tears. I am so full of love for my sensitive caring loving boy but I am frustrated that I cannot adequately explain the situation.
So I just push forward with the truth. I tell him that if the pet had died the farmer would have been so very sad. That it would have been so hard for the farmer and he would miss his elephant dog. That the farmer may have even gotten angry with the Jedi for making him leave that family pet behind. But after time, the farmer would know that while his beloved pet died, a family was able to keep three of their loved people.
He still had the tears streaming and he kind of nodded and rolled over. He sniffed and said “You’re right. We can’t leave Rylee but I am still sad.”
I lay down next to him and tickled his back and said “I know you are baby.”
From Star Wars bed time story to a discussion on the value of life…I am a seriously underprepared parent of a beautifully compassionate boy.
Tuesday, August 9, 2011
Sunday, June 5, 2011
A video? Like one??? Try THREE!
Day 23: A video
Can't pick just one so....
Video 1: Z calls 911
This video is Zachary at his Safety Town field trip that I was able to chaperone. He was "volunteered" to show what it is like to make a 911 call. I wish I had video taped the screen he was looking at - it was a picture of a frying pan in huge flames. I also wish the audio was better so you could hear his answers. I was very proud of him -- he seems to have a bit of dramatic flair (say what???) and was quite a natural up there despite never having called 911 in real life. However, what makes me smile the most is the end where his classmates make room for him on the steps and he high fives his friend Cristian -- it's a goofy mom thing I guess -- proud to see your child interacting with his friends.
Can't pick just one so....
Video 1: Z calls 911
This video is Zachary at his Safety Town field trip that I was able to chaperone. He was "volunteered" to show what it is like to make a 911 call. I wish I had video taped the screen he was looking at - it was a picture of a frying pan in huge flames. I also wish the audio was better so you could hear his answers. I was very proud of him -- he seems to have a bit of dramatic flair (say what???) and was quite a natural up there despite never having called 911 in real life. However, what makes me smile the most is the end where his classmates make room for him on the steps and he high fives his friend Cristian -- it's a goofy mom thing I guess -- proud to see your child interacting with his friends.
Video 2: Ry does yardwork
Rylee is all about "I do it!" "I try" and all the stereotypical independent phrases a 2 year can say. I picked this video of her because: 1. She had to do it (but Chad wouldn't let her do it on her own for obvious reasons) and 2. She is wearing a tutu. She does everything in a tutu -- a PINK tutu. Getting her ready for school in the morning is a battle because I don't let her wear her tutus to school -- she would sleep, shower, and play in a tutu if we would let her. While annoying at times - I have to admit this pink girly tutu phase makes me smile -- she looks so darn cute!!
Video 3: Super the Batman
My favorite video of my absolutely favorite three people. I think this showcases another reason I am completely in love with Chad - he is a down in the ditches Dad. He is not afraid to get on the floor and play and be involved. Not every dad has wicked light saber battles or defends himself from two little Power Rangers wielding Nerf swords or gives horse back rides or plays freeze blanket. Z and Ry -- we are a very lucky and incredibly blessed family to have the Daddy we do!!
Thursday, June 2, 2011
A Tale of Two Kids and a Retirement Party
Tale A: My beautiful Rylee Girl
My MILs retirement party was from 2 – 4pm last Friday at her bank. We drove in that morning, got to SA in time to change and head to the bank. Knowing that 2 hrs in a bank after a long car ride and no nap have potential for total kid meltdown, Chad smartly packed books and coloring materials for entertainment.
Because the bank was still open and there were customers trying to do business, we set boundaries of where the children could and could not go. About an hour into it, Rylee decides to see if I really meant it about the no-go zone. She took off running to another part of the bank. I must also offer this piece of trivia – the majority of the bank clientele that was walking around the lobby that day averaged the age of 75. There were lots of people with walkers and canes and not prepared to have a nearly 3 year old come whizzing by.
I chased her at a fast walk and trying to use my inside voice said “Rylee you are not supposed to be on this side of the bank – please go back to MiMi’s party.” She smiled and kept running. In a little bit louder of a voice I say “Rylee – enough! Now! WALK back to the party.” My child then crossed her arms in front of her chest, leaned on her hip, and very sternly with plenty of attitude (and I swear she bobbed her head too!) said “No.”
I have no idea what look I gave her – honestly I was so stunned at her defiance I may have blacked out – but what ever look it was made her eyes get really big and she ran faster than I have ever seen her back over to MiMi’s party and straight to MiMi.
My MIL who was in the middle of everything was so happy that her little granddaughter who had been so very shy up to this point had come over to see her. She scooped up Ry and started introducing her around.
I am sure my face was crunched up into something very ugly and I walked up to my husband and BIL and said “Unbelievable!” I told the story, thrust out my hip in the same way she did to put more emphasis on her shocking behavior and then pointed at my daughter that had been granted asylum in her MiMi’s arms. Both Chad and Todd cracked up – they thought it was hilarious. Todd said that Kendall probably taught her that and Chad said he thought it was a smart move by our daughter to head straight to MiMi – she knew what she was doing.
We all turn to look at the little angel who smiles at the three of us , sweetly touches MiMi’s cheek, and then lays her head down on MiMi’s shoulder to nuzzle in.
Tale B: My sweet Z
Dinner after the bank retirement party is at a small west Texas town’s dive famous for its amazing chicken fried steak – Lowake’s – and it is about 25 mins from my in-laws house. We have essentially gone from the bank to the house to regroup and then out to dinner. No rest for the weary or the children.
Not to shockingly my kids are bored and want to run around the restaurant. I hate that. I don’t like them running around because they may run into a server or disturb someone eating. I get why parents allow their kids to do that and I know that Lowake’s is not known for its linen table clothes and china plates but even those eating chicken fried steak do not need to listen to and watch my kids run.
I finally breakdown and tell Zachary they can go into the bar (I know!) and “play” the video games. There is a Ms. Pac Man, a hunting game with two pistols, and a “you’ll never get anything from here” claw game. Ry could care less if she is really playing the game or it is on its looped demo. She plays with the guns, presses buttons, and watches the screen. Z wanted to play but I honestly hadn’t brought my wallet with me (guess I presumed I wasn’t paying for dinner!) so I told him he would have to pretend.
One of other kids there, he is four, had been dumping dollar after dollar in that stupid claw machine. He had his heart set on the Nemo fish – it was purple by the way – not orange and white – not judging here just observing.
During this time my BIL gave Zachary a dollar and Kendall a dollar saying that PaPa Martin gave them money. So Zachary wanted to do the claw game. UGH. Oh well, his money and his decision. He just watched Gage lose at least five dollars total trying for a stupid fish. I told Z he would have to wait his turn and that he could do what he wanted.
Gage’s mom got him 8 more quarters and I watch each quarter go in and the claw just miss the Nemo eight more times. Gage was not a happy boy especially when his mom said that it was Zachary’s turn.
Z put his first quarter in the game and went for the Nemo. And holy crap – he got the freakin Nemo. First try. I couldn’t believe it.
Zachary then takes the fake purple Nemo fish and hands it to Gage. He told Gage that he knew Gage really wanted it.
Z proceeded to give the claw machine his last three quarters with no prize for him.
The pride I felt at that moment – I just reached down and kept squeezing him over and over. Telling him what a sweet and giving boy he is and he got very bashful. I was – AM – so very proud of him.
What of these tales?
There is no real lesson here other than I think they stories highlight what stage of life my children are in. Rylee is testing her boundaries and Zachary is becoming aware of other’s feelings. And I definitely need to chill out.
My MILs retirement party was from 2 – 4pm last Friday at her bank. We drove in that morning, got to SA in time to change and head to the bank. Knowing that 2 hrs in a bank after a long car ride and no nap have potential for total kid meltdown, Chad smartly packed books and coloring materials for entertainment.
Because the bank was still open and there were customers trying to do business, we set boundaries of where the children could and could not go. About an hour into it, Rylee decides to see if I really meant it about the no-go zone. She took off running to another part of the bank. I must also offer this piece of trivia – the majority of the bank clientele that was walking around the lobby that day averaged the age of 75. There were lots of people with walkers and canes and not prepared to have a nearly 3 year old come whizzing by.
I chased her at a fast walk and trying to use my inside voice said “Rylee you are not supposed to be on this side of the bank – please go back to MiMi’s party.” She smiled and kept running. In a little bit louder of a voice I say “Rylee – enough! Now! WALK back to the party.” My child then crossed her arms in front of her chest, leaned on her hip, and very sternly with plenty of attitude (and I swear she bobbed her head too!) said “No.”
I have no idea what look I gave her – honestly I was so stunned at her defiance I may have blacked out – but what ever look it was made her eyes get really big and she ran faster than I have ever seen her back over to MiMi’s party and straight to MiMi.
My MIL who was in the middle of everything was so happy that her little granddaughter who had been so very shy up to this point had come over to see her. She scooped up Ry and started introducing her around.
I am sure my face was crunched up into something very ugly and I walked up to my husband and BIL and said “Unbelievable!” I told the story, thrust out my hip in the same way she did to put more emphasis on her shocking behavior and then pointed at my daughter that had been granted asylum in her MiMi’s arms. Both Chad and Todd cracked up – they thought it was hilarious. Todd said that Kendall probably taught her that and Chad said he thought it was a smart move by our daughter to head straight to MiMi – she knew what she was doing.
We all turn to look at the little angel who smiles at the three of us , sweetly touches MiMi’s cheek, and then lays her head down on MiMi’s shoulder to nuzzle in.
Tale B: My sweet Z
Dinner after the bank retirement party is at a small west Texas town’s dive famous for its amazing chicken fried steak – Lowake’s – and it is about 25 mins from my in-laws house. We have essentially gone from the bank to the house to regroup and then out to dinner. No rest for the weary or the children.
Not to shockingly my kids are bored and want to run around the restaurant. I hate that. I don’t like them running around because they may run into a server or disturb someone eating. I get why parents allow their kids to do that and I know that Lowake’s is not known for its linen table clothes and china plates but even those eating chicken fried steak do not need to listen to and watch my kids run.
I finally breakdown and tell Zachary they can go into the bar (I know!) and “play” the video games. There is a Ms. Pac Man, a hunting game with two pistols, and a “you’ll never get anything from here” claw game. Ry could care less if she is really playing the game or it is on its looped demo. She plays with the guns, presses buttons, and watches the screen. Z wanted to play but I honestly hadn’t brought my wallet with me (guess I presumed I wasn’t paying for dinner!) so I told him he would have to pretend.
One of other kids there, he is four, had been dumping dollar after dollar in that stupid claw machine. He had his heart set on the Nemo fish – it was purple by the way – not orange and white – not judging here just observing.
During this time my BIL gave Zachary a dollar and Kendall a dollar saying that PaPa Martin gave them money. So Zachary wanted to do the claw game. UGH. Oh well, his money and his decision. He just watched Gage lose at least five dollars total trying for a stupid fish. I told Z he would have to wait his turn and that he could do what he wanted.
Gage’s mom got him 8 more quarters and I watch each quarter go in and the claw just miss the Nemo eight more times. Gage was not a happy boy especially when his mom said that it was Zachary’s turn.
Z put his first quarter in the game and went for the Nemo. And holy crap – he got the freakin Nemo. First try. I couldn’t believe it.
Zachary then takes the fake purple Nemo fish and hands it to Gage. He told Gage that he knew Gage really wanted it.
Z proceeded to give the claw machine his last three quarters with no prize for him.
The pride I felt at that moment – I just reached down and kept squeezing him over and over. Telling him what a sweet and giving boy he is and he got very bashful. I was – AM – so very proud of him.
What of these tales?
There is no real lesson here other than I think they stories highlight what stage of life my children are in. Rylee is testing her boundaries and Zachary is becoming aware of other’s feelings. And I definitely need to chill out.
Wednesday, May 25, 2011
I'm Just a Girl in the World
This blog post actually started a little while ago in my head when Chad and I loaded up the kids to go on a road trip to South Arlington (hey it is far for us!) and I got in the passenger side and he on the driver’s side. There was no talk of who was going to drive, no compromise of you drive now and I’ll drive home, we both assumed Chad would drive.
The entry further formed last night as the kids and I were in the closet under the stairs and Chad was standing about two feet outside the closet watching the TV radar. Chad had been pacing back and forth – going outside to look at clouds – getting the weather radio out – pulling out the vacuum and extra folding chairs we keep in the closet to make room for his family. He had the computer radar going, the TV on, and his iPhone radar. I on the other hand was sitting on the couch looking at a book with Z and Ry. Looking up at the weather occasionally and asking Chad if he wanted us to go in the closet. I waited for his signal and then shepherded the kids into the closet. In the closet, the kids watched a TV episode on the computer and I pondered our situation.
It seemed funny to me that I was so passive in this situation. I am not one to keep my mouth shut about my opinions or suggestions with Chad. However at this time I relied solely on his guidance – he’ll tell us when to go in and he’ll tell us when we can get out of the closet. While Chad does have a fascination with weather, I assure you his meteorological skills are not really that much more advanced than my own. So why did I rely on him to be the decision maker in this situation? I tried to let the idea of traditional sex roles pass with no stopping in my brain but it did stop and fester.
I feel the need to back track a little here to address my personal take on traditional sex roles. My parents tried to be as neutral as possible when raising me – I had my own set of Tonka Trucks and Jamey had a Mikey doll – and no dream or want was off limits based on the fact that I was female. Sports were very encouraged and college was expected as was being a self sufficient adult.
In the PC world of higher education, I was more active and vocal about my opinions on equal rights for everyone regardless of sex, origin, sexual orientation, color, or favorite ice cream flavor. I was passionate and belonged to every college diversity committee possible – Human Rights Month committee, Black History Month Committee, Women’s History Month Committee, etc. I had a different ribbon on every month.
Moving to Lubbock was a shock to my system in the sense that I found a lot more women that were more passive about their abilities and plans. Sexism seemed to be more rampant in Lubbock than Columbia. Which stunned me at the time…I was a tad self righteous but isn’t that the job of a college student? To be so sure that you are right and you can change the world into realizing that your way is the absolute best way?
My graduate thesis was born out of my love for sports and my love for equality. I was horrified that soccer was not a legitimate sport or opportunity for girls past the age of ten in the eyes of the community. That led to a year long study to find that people in Lubbock believe boys should play football and girls should not. Surprised? I didn’t think so. It is funny to me now being nearly 15 years older and how black and white I viewed things.
TANGENT ALERT: I did want to educate those of you that read this blog. Sex is objective (insert joke here!) - either/or - male or female. Gender is subjective and falls on a continuum of masculine and feminine. Your sex can be male but your gender feminine. Drives me crazy with every form I fill out that asks what gender I am when they really want to know what sex I am. OK OK – maybe in Webster’s they’ll tell you that gender and sex are interchangeable words but with a year of researching the topic I stand by my definitions and differentiations.
Fast forward to present time. I am still a firm believer in avoiding sex roles. That will not change with my son or daughter. I don’t want them to find limits in what they do or where they go based on sex. But as I ponder how I have left Chad with the decisions on what to do in this weather situation, I begin to think that I have let down my college self. I do not feel like an independent woman – I feel like I have left the safety and security of my family completely in the hands of Chad. Not that he can’t handle it – he can – but shouldn’t that be the responsibility of both of us. Not me passively waiting on instructions. Why is it Chad’s role? Is it because he is the man of the house?
What do I rely on Chad for?
- Fixing broken things – toasters, chairs, fence
- Smoke detector maintenance
- Building – IKEA stuff, kids’ swing set
- Changing high light bulbs
- Taking charge in emergency or tense situations
What does Chad rely on me for?
- What to do when the kids are sick – how much medicine, which medicine, when to go to the doctor
- Taking care of birthday cards, parties, gifts
- Calendar maintenance – appointments, school functions, social gatherings
- Kid wardrobe – purchasing new items, outfit choices
I am intrigued as to what lines these tasks were subconsciously split. What is important to know when comparing these lists that they were not discussed. Chad and I have assumed these responsibilities without even having a conversation about it. I mean there are things that I do – laundry – and that he does – pay bills, lawn care – but these are tasks we divided up over ten years ago. We actually made a list of chores and responsibilities and divvied them up. The items outlined above? It just happened.
I believe some of this task assignments are based on skill – Chad is incredibly handy and is a natural problem solver and I have a weird memory that lets dates and people stick forever in my brain (I can tell you the birthdays of my 8th grade class – very bizarre I know) and the duty simply fell to the person that handles it best.
But what about the others? I have no training in the medical field. Chad did not take one class in high risk management. Those fall suspiciously close to sex roles.
And the driving thing. That bugs me – not that I have any high need to drive because I am AOK being the passenger but the fact that I assume I am the passenger is annoying. Is it because we always take Chad’s car?
In the end does it matter? Are we setting some sort of example for my kids about sex roles? I am thinking I am setting a bad example for my kids on far worse things and I do not have the time or energy to worry about these. Or is this how it gets passed down to the next generation? Being passive.
The college idealistic egotistical savior of the world woman in me is screaming in my brain to switch it up – don’t fall into a sexist pattern – don’t teach your kids that it’s ok. But her scream is no longer a roar – more of a faint call drowned out by the mature (hee hee) happy woman’s song that found compromise to make her marriage work and her life flow. While I may have been kicked out of Gloria Steinem’s club, I still have hope for equality and fully supportive of freedom for all regardless of sex or gender.
All of this said by the woman who’s son says you can’t have a pink light saber because it is too girly and Star Wars isn’t for girls and a daughter who won’t go anywhere without a pink tutu and a hair bow. College MK never stood a chance.
The entry further formed last night as the kids and I were in the closet under the stairs and Chad was standing about two feet outside the closet watching the TV radar. Chad had been pacing back and forth – going outside to look at clouds – getting the weather radio out – pulling out the vacuum and extra folding chairs we keep in the closet to make room for his family. He had the computer radar going, the TV on, and his iPhone radar. I on the other hand was sitting on the couch looking at a book with Z and Ry. Looking up at the weather occasionally and asking Chad if he wanted us to go in the closet. I waited for his signal and then shepherded the kids into the closet. In the closet, the kids watched a TV episode on the computer and I pondered our situation.
It seemed funny to me that I was so passive in this situation. I am not one to keep my mouth shut about my opinions or suggestions with Chad. However at this time I relied solely on his guidance – he’ll tell us when to go in and he’ll tell us when we can get out of the closet. While Chad does have a fascination with weather, I assure you his meteorological skills are not really that much more advanced than my own. So why did I rely on him to be the decision maker in this situation? I tried to let the idea of traditional sex roles pass with no stopping in my brain but it did stop and fester.
I feel the need to back track a little here to address my personal take on traditional sex roles. My parents tried to be as neutral as possible when raising me – I had my own set of Tonka Trucks and Jamey had a Mikey doll – and no dream or want was off limits based on the fact that I was female. Sports were very encouraged and college was expected as was being a self sufficient adult.
In the PC world of higher education, I was more active and vocal about my opinions on equal rights for everyone regardless of sex, origin, sexual orientation, color, or favorite ice cream flavor. I was passionate and belonged to every college diversity committee possible – Human Rights Month committee, Black History Month Committee, Women’s History Month Committee, etc. I had a different ribbon on every month.
Moving to Lubbock was a shock to my system in the sense that I found a lot more women that were more passive about their abilities and plans. Sexism seemed to be more rampant in Lubbock than Columbia. Which stunned me at the time…I was a tad self righteous but isn’t that the job of a college student? To be so sure that you are right and you can change the world into realizing that your way is the absolute best way?
My graduate thesis was born out of my love for sports and my love for equality. I was horrified that soccer was not a legitimate sport or opportunity for girls past the age of ten in the eyes of the community. That led to a year long study to find that people in Lubbock believe boys should play football and girls should not. Surprised? I didn’t think so. It is funny to me now being nearly 15 years older and how black and white I viewed things.
TANGENT ALERT: I did want to educate those of you that read this blog. Sex is objective (insert joke here!) - either/or - male or female. Gender is subjective and falls on a continuum of masculine and feminine. Your sex can be male but your gender feminine. Drives me crazy with every form I fill out that asks what gender I am when they really want to know what sex I am. OK OK – maybe in Webster’s they’ll tell you that gender and sex are interchangeable words but with a year of researching the topic I stand by my definitions and differentiations.
Fast forward to present time. I am still a firm believer in avoiding sex roles. That will not change with my son or daughter. I don’t want them to find limits in what they do or where they go based on sex. But as I ponder how I have left Chad with the decisions on what to do in this weather situation, I begin to think that I have let down my college self. I do not feel like an independent woman – I feel like I have left the safety and security of my family completely in the hands of Chad. Not that he can’t handle it – he can – but shouldn’t that be the responsibility of both of us. Not me passively waiting on instructions. Why is it Chad’s role? Is it because he is the man of the house?
What do I rely on Chad for?
- Fixing broken things – toasters, chairs, fence
- Smoke detector maintenance
- Building – IKEA stuff, kids’ swing set
- Changing high light bulbs
- Taking charge in emergency or tense situations
What does Chad rely on me for?
- What to do when the kids are sick – how much medicine, which medicine, when to go to the doctor
- Taking care of birthday cards, parties, gifts
- Calendar maintenance – appointments, school functions, social gatherings
- Kid wardrobe – purchasing new items, outfit choices
I am intrigued as to what lines these tasks were subconsciously split. What is important to know when comparing these lists that they were not discussed. Chad and I have assumed these responsibilities without even having a conversation about it. I mean there are things that I do – laundry – and that he does – pay bills, lawn care – but these are tasks we divided up over ten years ago. We actually made a list of chores and responsibilities and divvied them up. The items outlined above? It just happened.
I believe some of this task assignments are based on skill – Chad is incredibly handy and is a natural problem solver and I have a weird memory that lets dates and people stick forever in my brain (I can tell you the birthdays of my 8th grade class – very bizarre I know) and the duty simply fell to the person that handles it best.
But what about the others? I have no training in the medical field. Chad did not take one class in high risk management. Those fall suspiciously close to sex roles.
And the driving thing. That bugs me – not that I have any high need to drive because I am AOK being the passenger but the fact that I assume I am the passenger is annoying. Is it because we always take Chad’s car?
In the end does it matter? Are we setting some sort of example for my kids about sex roles? I am thinking I am setting a bad example for my kids on far worse things and I do not have the time or energy to worry about these. Or is this how it gets passed down to the next generation? Being passive.
The college idealistic egotistical savior of the world woman in me is screaming in my brain to switch it up – don’t fall into a sexist pattern – don’t teach your kids that it’s ok. But her scream is no longer a roar – more of a faint call drowned out by the mature (hee hee) happy woman’s song that found compromise to make her marriage work and her life flow. While I may have been kicked out of Gloria Steinem’s club, I still have hope for equality and fully supportive of freedom for all regardless of sex or gender.
All of this said by the woman who’s son says you can’t have a pink light saber because it is too girly and Star Wars isn’t for girls and a daughter who won’t go anywhere without a pink tutu and a hair bow. College MK never stood a chance.
Monday, May 23, 2011
Maybe Not a Guffaw but Definitely a Snicker
Day 22: A favorite joke
Clean? Dirty? NSFW?? Choices choices. I spent some time on this one trying to do a creative spin -- a practical joke I have played or been victim to? Nah - I am not a fan of practical jokes because I am more of a "can dish it but can't take it" kind of person. Not proud of it but it's true.
Perhaps naming a political figure. But then I would have to have a political conversation and I am not really a politics kind of gal.
Or something from a movie. Not in the mood to translate a perfectly good comedic scene into a blog.
My kids are very into Knock Knock jokes right now. Truthfully, Zachary is into them and Rylee is trying to be like Zachary. Z's favorite knock knock joke:
Z: Knock, Knock
MK: Who's there?
Z: Boo
MK: Boo who?
Z: (cracking up so hard he can barely get out the punch line) Well you don't have to cry about it!!
Then there is Rylee's version:
Ry: Knock, Knock
MK: Who's there?
Ry: Crying
MK: Crying who?
Ry: Umm no mommy. Don't cry.
Knock knock jokes get really old to me pretty quickly. Especially when they devolve into the ones that don't make sense:
Z: Knock, Knock
MK: Who's there?
Z: Toilet
MK: Toilet who?
Z: The toilet is green. hahahahahaahhahahahahahahahahahaha
When that happens -- the QPMs kick in. In Z's mind the joke has to be done properly -- no deviations so he throws a nonsensical few my way, I throw a few deviations his way:
Z: Knock, Knock
MK: Who is there?
Z: Mom - that isn't right - it's who's there not who is there?
MK: Oh OK.
Z: Knock, Knock
MK: Who's here?
Z: No Mom -- there not here - say there not here
MK: Oh OK
Z: Knock, Knock
MK: There not here
Z: MOMMMMMYYYYYYY
MK: chuckle chuckle
He HATES the banana & orange one - the one you say banana three times and then conclude with orange and "orange you glad I didn't say banana?" Chad usually whips that one out on him. We get the high pitch screechy "You're doing it wrong!"
The ultimate knock knock QPM is blowing his punch line.
Z: Knock, Knock
MK: Who's there?
Z: Boo
MK: Who is Boo?
Z: Mom you're not doing it right. Knock, Knock
MK: Who's there?
Z: Boo
MK: Are you going to tell me not to cry?
Z: Mom!! Knock, Knock
MK: Who's there?
Z: BOO!
MK: Are you trying to scare me?
Z: That is not nice.
MK: I don't think it is nice you are trying to scare me.
End of Knock Knock jokes. Tee hee. Well, I am now sufficiently amused.
And while not my "favorite" a clean, sfw joke just to make sure your funny bone is tickled too:
Little Red Riding Hood is skipping down the road when she sees a big bad wolf crouched down behind a log. 'My, what big eyes you have, Mr. Wolf.'
The wolf jumps up and runs away. Further down the road Little Red Riding Hood sees the wolf again and this time he is crouched behind a bush. 'My what big ears you have, Mr. Wolf.'
Again the wolf jumps up and runs away. About two miles down the road Little Red Riding Hood sees the wolf again and this time he is crouched down behind a rock. 'My what big teeth you have Mr. Wolf.'
With that the wolf jumps up and screams, 'Will you knock it off, I'm trying to poop!'
Clean? Dirty? NSFW?? Choices choices. I spent some time on this one trying to do a creative spin -- a practical joke I have played or been victim to? Nah - I am not a fan of practical jokes because I am more of a "can dish it but can't take it" kind of person. Not proud of it but it's true.
Perhaps naming a political figure. But then I would have to have a political conversation and I am not really a politics kind of gal.
Or something from a movie. Not in the mood to translate a perfectly good comedic scene into a blog.
My kids are very into Knock Knock jokes right now. Truthfully, Zachary is into them and Rylee is trying to be like Zachary. Z's favorite knock knock joke:
Z: Knock, Knock
MK: Who's there?
Z: Boo
MK: Boo who?
Z: (cracking up so hard he can barely get out the punch line) Well you don't have to cry about it!!
Then there is Rylee's version:
Ry: Knock, Knock
MK: Who's there?
Ry: Crying
MK: Crying who?
Ry: Umm no mommy. Don't cry.
Knock knock jokes get really old to me pretty quickly. Especially when they devolve into the ones that don't make sense:
Z: Knock, Knock
MK: Who's there?
Z: Toilet
MK: Toilet who?
Z: The toilet is green. hahahahahaahhahahahahahahahahahaha
When that happens -- the QPMs kick in. In Z's mind the joke has to be done properly -- no deviations so he throws a nonsensical few my way, I throw a few deviations his way:
Z: Knock, Knock
MK: Who is there?
Z: Mom - that isn't right - it's who's there not who is there?
MK: Oh OK.
Z: Knock, Knock
MK: Who's here?
Z: No Mom -- there not here - say there not here
MK: Oh OK
Z: Knock, Knock
MK: There not here
Z: MOMMMMMYYYYYYY
MK: chuckle chuckle
He HATES the banana & orange one - the one you say banana three times and then conclude with orange and "orange you glad I didn't say banana?" Chad usually whips that one out on him. We get the high pitch screechy "You're doing it wrong!"
The ultimate knock knock QPM is blowing his punch line.
Z: Knock, Knock
MK: Who's there?
Z: Boo
MK: Who is Boo?
Z: Mom you're not doing it right. Knock, Knock
MK: Who's there?
Z: Boo
MK: Are you going to tell me not to cry?
Z: Mom!! Knock, Knock
MK: Who's there?
Z: BOO!
MK: Are you trying to scare me?
Z: That is not nice.
MK: I don't think it is nice you are trying to scare me.
End of Knock Knock jokes. Tee hee. Well, I am now sufficiently amused.
And while not my "favorite" a clean, sfw joke just to make sure your funny bone is tickled too:
Little Red Riding Hood is skipping down the road when she sees a big bad wolf crouched down behind a log. 'My, what big eyes you have, Mr. Wolf.'
The wolf jumps up and runs away. Further down the road Little Red Riding Hood sees the wolf again and this time he is crouched behind a bush. 'My what big ears you have, Mr. Wolf.'
Again the wolf jumps up and runs away. About two miles down the road Little Red Riding Hood sees the wolf again and this time he is crouched down behind a rock. 'My what big teeth you have Mr. Wolf.'
With that the wolf jumps up and screams, 'Will you knock it off, I'm trying to poop!'
Wednesday, May 4, 2011
Freudian Stew
Day 21: A favorite recipe
My ability to turn the most innocent task into something that is life examining heart aching and head spinning is one for the crazy doctors. I started this post forever ago and then stopped because I made it into something it need not be.
I think I am extra sensitive with the whole cooking thing. I constantly tell anyone who will listen that I don't cook - I microwave. I am famous (well to my kids) for my fast easy kid friendly meals. And it really bothers me. I only have myself to blame - I am the one that started the rumor and I perpetuate it with my comments and actions. When favorite recipe turned up in the post challenge rotation, I froze.
I began running through recipes in my head which not shockingly was blank. There are certain meals I associate with my mom and what she cooked for us when I was little. I already described that drama in a previous post but at least I remember her cooking and having meals - even if they involved vegetables and whole wheat. That led to me questioning what will my kids associate with me and "cooking" - mac n cheese w/ hot dogs? Chicken dinos? (translation chicken nuggets in the shape of dinosaurs) Turkey lunch meat, Kraft cheese slice rolled up in a tortilla with a side of Cheetos and mandarin oranges???
Sad truth is that I don’t cook. But the flip side of it is not that I can’t cook – because I can – it is that I am not a natural cook. I am a rule following cook. If the recipe calls for 1 cup – by golly I put in exactly one cup – no more no less. My mother in law teases me about my measuring. She thinks it is hilarious that I will use a knife blade to make sure that I scrape off any extra ingredient from my measuring cup so that only the required amount goes into the recipe. I do not deviate from what is written – doesn’t call for salt? Then I do not add salt. Chad would.
Chad is a freestyler in the kitchen. It is quite a show and usually an amazing result. He doesn’t crack open a recipe book or have a plan – he just starts pulling stuff out of the fridge and pantry and figures it out as he goes. He’ll throw in spices and oil and this and that and majority of the time dinner is really good. We call these meals his Concoctos. When we first started dating through when Z was young, we had Concocto for dinner often.
Kids and job has kept Chad out of the kitchen most days so it is left to me to heat up dinner. He did give me a four ingredient recipe cookbook for Christmas and it’s great and I have used it but nothing that is a signature dish. One I want the kids to remember I made for them.
I also use the working mom-no time excuse for their fast easy meals. While there really is truth to it, there are also work arounds to make sure my family gets a real meal – I just don’t use those options. I try to leave work everyday by 4:30 (usually ends up around 5pm) to go pick up Ry. Assuming no traffic issues, I get to her about 5:40ish. Then I go and pick up Z – get him about 6ish and we are home by 6:15 pm. Kids are starving and now I need to make dinner. When I cook, we usually do not eat until 7pm or later. If I microwave chicken dinos, dump canned green beans in a bowl, and cut up an apple – walah! Dinner is served in 15 mins.
My boss doesn’t understand. Her family has a home made meal every night of the week. The catch is she spends her entire Sunday cooking – she makes five meals for the week all on Sunday and freezes and refrigerates the food so she only has to heat it up that night. I really REALLY do not want to spending hours creating meals all day on Sunday – so many other fun things to do!
I did go through a phase where I would cook the next day’s dinner after the kids had gone to bed using my boss’ philosophy of just having to heating it up at dinner time. But then I was up late cooking, doing dishes (sort of!), and not having any time to do other things.
Today’s topic was probably intended to be just a random interesting fun non-stressful thing and I let it get in and twist into a self esteem buster. I really think I have a talent for that. I am not the cooking mom I want to be for my kids. I think it sucks that I never will be. I don’t want my grandkids to hear stories of cereal for dinner – I want them to ask for that fun meal their dad used to eat. My mother in law comes in and cooks her famous meatloaf and my kids eat it!! My picky kids eat it!
I am not the domestic crafty mom that can whip up a home made meal with all food groups represented while setting the table with hand crafted napkin rings and fresh bouquet of flowers as a center piece.
Ok now I am just being snarky and bitter. It is just easier some days to find all the ways I wish I was a better mom and person than it is to see what is going well. I just love my family so much and want them to have the best. Some sort of Donna Reed, Claire Huxtable, Elise Keaton, Mrs. C combo. Dear God even Roseanne cooked for her family!! Course Lorelei Gilmore was all about Chinese take out and I think she is kind of cool! And Rory seemed to turn out ok…
Digress, digress, digress.
After that Debbie Downer of an entry do you still want a recipe?? My standby go to recipe for a party is from my Mother in Law – Spinach Dip – super easy and goes with veggies, chips, or even a bread bowl.
1 cup of Mayo
1 cup of Sour Cream
1 pkg frozen spinach
1 can sliced water chestnuts
1 bunch green onions
1 TBSP Lemon Juice
1 TBSP Season Salt
Cook the spinach and mix with all of the other ingredients and you have a dip ready to go. I personally slice the water chestnuts even more so there are more to go around. It will also taste better is you make it and let it sit in the fridge for awhile before serving. Chad usually comes in after it has been in the fridge awhile and adds more lemon juice or season salt to get it just right...freestyling it.
My ability to turn the most innocent task into something that is life examining heart aching and head spinning is one for the crazy doctors. I started this post forever ago and then stopped because I made it into something it need not be.
I think I am extra sensitive with the whole cooking thing. I constantly tell anyone who will listen that I don't cook - I microwave. I am famous (well to my kids) for my fast easy kid friendly meals. And it really bothers me. I only have myself to blame - I am the one that started the rumor and I perpetuate it with my comments and actions. When favorite recipe turned up in the post challenge rotation, I froze.
I began running through recipes in my head which not shockingly was blank. There are certain meals I associate with my mom and what she cooked for us when I was little. I already described that drama in a previous post but at least I remember her cooking and having meals - even if they involved vegetables and whole wheat. That led to me questioning what will my kids associate with me and "cooking" - mac n cheese w/ hot dogs? Chicken dinos? (translation chicken nuggets in the shape of dinosaurs) Turkey lunch meat, Kraft cheese slice rolled up in a tortilla with a side of Cheetos and mandarin oranges???
Sad truth is that I don’t cook. But the flip side of it is not that I can’t cook – because I can – it is that I am not a natural cook. I am a rule following cook. If the recipe calls for 1 cup – by golly I put in exactly one cup – no more no less. My mother in law teases me about my measuring. She thinks it is hilarious that I will use a knife blade to make sure that I scrape off any extra ingredient from my measuring cup so that only the required amount goes into the recipe. I do not deviate from what is written – doesn’t call for salt? Then I do not add salt. Chad would.
Chad is a freestyler in the kitchen. It is quite a show and usually an amazing result. He doesn’t crack open a recipe book or have a plan – he just starts pulling stuff out of the fridge and pantry and figures it out as he goes. He’ll throw in spices and oil and this and that and majority of the time dinner is really good. We call these meals his Concoctos. When we first started dating through when Z was young, we had Concocto for dinner often.
Kids and job has kept Chad out of the kitchen most days so it is left to me to heat up dinner. He did give me a four ingredient recipe cookbook for Christmas and it’s great and I have used it but nothing that is a signature dish. One I want the kids to remember I made for them.
I also use the working mom-no time excuse for their fast easy meals. While there really is truth to it, there are also work arounds to make sure my family gets a real meal – I just don’t use those options. I try to leave work everyday by 4:30 (usually ends up around 5pm) to go pick up Ry. Assuming no traffic issues, I get to her about 5:40ish. Then I go and pick up Z – get him about 6ish and we are home by 6:15 pm. Kids are starving and now I need to make dinner. When I cook, we usually do not eat until 7pm or later. If I microwave chicken dinos, dump canned green beans in a bowl, and cut up an apple – walah! Dinner is served in 15 mins.
My boss doesn’t understand. Her family has a home made meal every night of the week. The catch is she spends her entire Sunday cooking – she makes five meals for the week all on Sunday and freezes and refrigerates the food so she only has to heat it up that night. I really REALLY do not want to spending hours creating meals all day on Sunday – so many other fun things to do!
I did go through a phase where I would cook the next day’s dinner after the kids had gone to bed using my boss’ philosophy of just having to heating it up at dinner time. But then I was up late cooking, doing dishes (sort of!), and not having any time to do other things.
Today’s topic was probably intended to be just a random interesting fun non-stressful thing and I let it get in and twist into a self esteem buster. I really think I have a talent for that. I am not the cooking mom I want to be for my kids. I think it sucks that I never will be. I don’t want my grandkids to hear stories of cereal for dinner – I want them to ask for that fun meal their dad used to eat. My mother in law comes in and cooks her famous meatloaf and my kids eat it!! My picky kids eat it!
I am not the domestic crafty mom that can whip up a home made meal with all food groups represented while setting the table with hand crafted napkin rings and fresh bouquet of flowers as a center piece.
Ok now I am just being snarky and bitter. It is just easier some days to find all the ways I wish I was a better mom and person than it is to see what is going well. I just love my family so much and want them to have the best. Some sort of Donna Reed, Claire Huxtable, Elise Keaton, Mrs. C combo. Dear God even Roseanne cooked for her family!! Course Lorelei Gilmore was all about Chinese take out and I think she is kind of cool! And Rory seemed to turn out ok…
Digress, digress, digress.
After that Debbie Downer of an entry do you still want a recipe?? My standby go to recipe for a party is from my Mother in Law – Spinach Dip – super easy and goes with veggies, chips, or even a bread bowl.
1 cup of Mayo
1 cup of Sour Cream
1 pkg frozen spinach
1 can sliced water chestnuts
1 bunch green onions
1 TBSP Lemon Juice
1 TBSP Season Salt
Cook the spinach and mix with all of the other ingredients and you have a dip ready to go. I personally slice the water chestnuts even more so there are more to go around. It will also taste better is you make it and let it sit in the fridge for awhile before serving. Chad usually comes in after it has been in the fridge awhile and adds more lemon juice or season salt to get it just right...freestyling it.
Tuesday, May 3, 2011
Thank You, Britney Spears
CMM Day 1: a favorite song
I guess I can’t put it off any longer- it is time that I, Chad, take part in this fantastical journey down memory lane. I hope that it is at least half as beneficial as those that have started before me. Y’all have been an inspiration… Let’s begin!
What first came to mind when I read this topic was “what, favorite song today? Last week?” How limiting… I can’t boil my life’s love of music down to one. I guess I could cheat and look at the play count in the iPod; but I think it is too biased to the present. I think I will ramble a bit; and then insert the influential bands and songs in brackets as I go. Songs with an Asterisk* are ‘finalists’. Z and R- this is not comprehensive; check whatever our current music collection database is. So here goes a scattershot answer:
STARTING OUT
My earliest popular music memory was ‘Elvira” by the Oak Ridge Boys and “Lucille” by Kenny Rogers. Not necessarily of my choosing; but they were played so much around me that I couldn’t help but sing along. Living in a small town put a limit on what I was exposed to. I know my parents had cooler stuff (In-a-gadda-da-vida, baby!) but it didn’t trickle down to me just yet.
Somehow, we all talked our parents into buying ‘Thriller’ by Michael Jackson; and then we all promptly held MJ cassette destructions when the popular train ran out. Being resourceful, I just recorded over mine…
MTV was just being born. When we went into town, I would find ways to take advantage of people that had cable. We would stay up and watch Friday Night Videos [Mr. Mister, Pet Shop Boys, Genesis, Bon Jovi, The Lost Boys Soundtrack, Peter Gabriel, INXS]; that was our only source out in the sticks. I still don’t know how I convinced Mom to buy Van Halen’s Jump; it was pretty racy for elementary school. One that didn’t survive was Wang Chung. Mom made me take it back to Target because the last tract contained every bad word and phrase in the Mom manual. Too bad for her I was already using most of them.
And then there was Dad. His musical influence was very subtle; very sneaky. From forcing us to listen to Evita* and “In the Hall of the Mountain King” on road trips to making Marty Robbins mix tapes [gunfighter ballads era] on the newfangled stereo, he laid a broad foundation that would help me appreciate a wider breadth of music. My favorite contribution of his is Tchaikovsky’s 1812 Overture* as performed by the London Philharmonic. If we ever got to our destination early, we would sit in the car to let it finish. It didn’t matter if we got weird looks. It was worth it.
Growing up on the edge of the desert had a way of limiting what we were exposed to. County music was ever present; I’d be lying if I said I ignored it. In fact, my first CD was Garth Brooks Ropin the Wind. I spent many a wedding dance in St. Ambrose Hall two-stepping to George, Garth, Randy, and Brooks and Dunn. Out of all of this rose one of my all time favorites: Garth Brook’s "The Dance"*. I’d like for it to be played at my funeral as it expresses my life’s philosophy. Sometimes it is better to leave it up to chance- to allow yourself to get lost, to risk a little… you’ll never know what was around that corner if you don’t. Almost always, it is well worth it. Someday that risk may bring my end; but I bet it was doing something worthwhile.
There was one (count it: 1) radio station in town that didn’t play country. Turns out that KIXY strictly filtered what they played to only the Top Pop. Really? Is that all there is? Time for rebellion! Thanks to Thomas Davis and his mix tapes, I discovered there was a lot more out there [Depeche Mode, New Order, Front 242]. A few occasionally made it through KIXY’s censors: bands such as Information Society, The Farm ["Altogether Now"], Crowded House, “Back to Life” by SoulIISoul, and a little song called "Edelweiss".
Even though Mrs. Ratliff over used him in theater class, the new age music of Ray Lynch stuck with me. His music creates worlds to explore…
I can’t finish the High school years without mentioning "Stand by Me"* by B.B. King. It bound our group of misfits together at the Shake Hands with Your Future camp at TTU. May Bud and the Smokers puff forever more… or just as long as the recording studios remain in malls. Oh. Wait-
COLLEGE
Finally in college, I DID discover that the hometown radio station was limiting. What everyone called old school retro was brand new to me. I could finally dump the mainstream for something interesting. My first roommate was heavily into random music, so that helped whet my appetite. [Toad the Wet Sprocket, The Church, Live (pre-stardom), Wire Train, Romeo+Juliet soundtrack, ] Being in college for the birth of grunge was awesome timing. It felt like we owned it! [NIN, Pearl Jam, Filter, Smashing Pumpkins, Soundgarden, misc Grunge] I luckily plugged into KTXT, Tech’s college radio, just before they pulled the plug on its soul. Back then, the DJ’s went out of their way to find the obscure and inventive so that they could blast it from the bell towers.
It seems each of my college friends had their own musical influence on me. My biggest debt is to Jeromy; he brought so much ‘out there’ stuff to me [Ten Hands, The Juliet Letters, Tank Girl Soundtrack, respect for Talking Heads, beginnings of ska and rockabilly]. Steve gave his Electronica, the beat line of Madonna’s “Justify My love”, and Bjork. Jett brought homespun do-it-yourself heavily influenced by Live and Radiohead. Somehow I stumbled into Cake and Dave Matthews Band from the frat boy trio; as much as I hate to admit it, they did benefit me after all.
Les Miserables came to Lubbock; I was instantly hooked. The movement and the spirit still haunt me to this day. If any of my friends happen to check out early, I think I would play “Empty Chairs at Empty Tables” at the wake. Morbid? Perhaps. But with feeling…
Toward the end of college around 1996, Wheez, Dave, Greg, and I decided to hang out on the deck at the river-front bar in San Angelo. There was this new band playing that was fresh back from Nashville for a new start. The lead man was a bit annoying, but you could tell he was proud of what his boys could do. He finally stepped out of the way and let them shine. As we listened, we were amazed at the depth of talent. When Henry started his instrumental of “Little Wing”, I knew we had stumbled onto something great. Los Lonely Boys was born.
GRADUATION INTO THE WORKING WORLD
After College, I could finally afford the CD’s and concerts that I wanted. I spent a lot of time and money going to Dave Matthews Band concerts. Too bad DMB eventually sold out… Lucky for MK and me, it wasn’t before they released ‘Crush.’ Music was one of the initial binders of MK and I; we need to re-discover that as it brought so much joy to our dating.
I can’t say that I fell into any musical movement during this time, except maybe to resist the mainstreaming of Alternative. So I set out to find something different. [Neil Finn/Finn Brothers, Keane, Nada Surf, Thriftstore Cowboys: "Dirtied Your Knees", "Beneath the Shoes"; Matisyahu: "King Without a Crown" Live, Linkin Park (guilty pleasure), Postal Service, Blue October, Israel Kamakawiwo’ole: "Somewhere Over the Rainbow/What a Wonderful World"]. I think J.Lo had a career around then, I’m not certain.
I got the chance to see Rent- it was an incredible experience for me. It’s expression of pure emotion and commentary on the times resonated deeply with me. Well done.
While I was desperately trying to avoid the mainstream, too often it came to me. MK and I are fans of Josh Groban. “The Prayer” in particular always stirs me. It was a revelation for what I was looking for- it is okay to like something in the mainstream IF the performer has bona fide talent. Lest I forget: The Dixie Chicks… another guilty pleasure that I gained from MK. Thank you, dear…
KIDS
Being a parent, my kids are just a big of an influence on me as I to them. Out of all of their kids shows, I find myself humming "Miss Spider’s Sunny Patch theme", the weekly Phineas and Ferb tune, and anything from Sandra Boynton’s Philadelphia Chickens. The rest are the spawn of the devil. I shall not give them or their purple dinosaur any air time!
RELIGIOUS
Lately- I have come to admit the place that religious music has always played in my life. I am much better for having some in the mix. It has a way of centering me; getting me back on my path.
My fondest memories from Wall include how the St. Ambrose Men’s choir sang “Behold the Lamb of God” on Easter Sundays in the early ‘90’s [arr. Father Bob Dufford, S.J., Univ. of Dayton]. They also introduced me to“Lord, When you Came to the Seashore” and “On Eagles Wings”. I pause for both whenever and wherever they are played.
The Narayan family kept me in church during my early college years with how they sang “One Bread, One Body” in the small church at St. Elizabeth’s in the mid ‘90’s. [Michelle and Britta- is that right?!] I was so sad to see them go…
Raider Awakening brought me Jars of Clay ["World’s Apart"*] , "Love Remains" by Collin Raye, and “Just Wait*” by Blues Traveller. I rediscovered "Pie Jesu"* from Requiem. The CRHP community gave me Casting Crowns ["Lifesong"*, "And now my Lifesong Sings"*, "East to West"] and Third Day ["Revelation"*, "Born Again"]. I can’t think of a better tune for Lent than “Carry my Cross” by Third Day for cleansing and understanding what my Lord went through for me.
Singing O Holy Night. Yep- vanity moment here. Christmas is more special to me when I can perform this song. I love to sing; but I don’t have a consistent voice in order to do it often. Somehow, I rise to the challenge for this song. My favorite memory of this song is from Christmas 2003. MK had miscarried just a day before; so that put us in a funk as we drove to Kansas City. There was a cloud over Christmas that year… until we gathered around Carol and her piano Christmas night to sing carols. There was something healing about singing O Holy Night that night. It didn’t matter if I was out of tune; it was the best it ever sounded to me.
So- my favorite song is every one that ever moved me… the ones that touched my soul and told it to pause and listen… the ones that stood out as a work of art… the ones that were not processed for mass consumption. This brings me to Britney. To Britney Spears and all of the other crappy Pop princes and princesses: thank you for Pop music. Your work made me rebel to find something worth listening to.
I guess I can’t put it off any longer- it is time that I, Chad, take part in this fantastical journey down memory lane. I hope that it is at least half as beneficial as those that have started before me. Y’all have been an inspiration… Let’s begin!
What first came to mind when I read this topic was “what, favorite song today? Last week?” How limiting… I can’t boil my life’s love of music down to one. I guess I could cheat and look at the play count in the iPod; but I think it is too biased to the present. I think I will ramble a bit; and then insert the influential bands and songs in brackets as I go. Songs with an Asterisk* are ‘finalists’. Z and R- this is not comprehensive; check whatever our current music collection database is. So here goes a scattershot answer:
STARTING OUT
My earliest popular music memory was ‘Elvira” by the Oak Ridge Boys and “Lucille” by Kenny Rogers. Not necessarily of my choosing; but they were played so much around me that I couldn’t help but sing along. Living in a small town put a limit on what I was exposed to. I know my parents had cooler stuff (In-a-gadda-da-vida, baby!) but it didn’t trickle down to me just yet.
Somehow, we all talked our parents into buying ‘Thriller’ by Michael Jackson; and then we all promptly held MJ cassette destructions when the popular train ran out. Being resourceful, I just recorded over mine…
MTV was just being born. When we went into town, I would find ways to take advantage of people that had cable. We would stay up and watch Friday Night Videos [Mr. Mister, Pet Shop Boys, Genesis, Bon Jovi, The Lost Boys Soundtrack, Peter Gabriel, INXS]; that was our only source out in the sticks. I still don’t know how I convinced Mom to buy Van Halen’s Jump; it was pretty racy for elementary school. One that didn’t survive was Wang Chung. Mom made me take it back to Target because the last tract contained every bad word and phrase in the Mom manual. Too bad for her I was already using most of them.
And then there was Dad. His musical influence was very subtle; very sneaky. From forcing us to listen to Evita* and “In the Hall of the Mountain King” on road trips to making Marty Robbins mix tapes [gunfighter ballads era] on the newfangled stereo, he laid a broad foundation that would help me appreciate a wider breadth of music. My favorite contribution of his is Tchaikovsky’s 1812 Overture* as performed by the London Philharmonic. If we ever got to our destination early, we would sit in the car to let it finish. It didn’t matter if we got weird looks. It was worth it.
Growing up on the edge of the desert had a way of limiting what we were exposed to. County music was ever present; I’d be lying if I said I ignored it. In fact, my first CD was Garth Brooks Ropin the Wind. I spent many a wedding dance in St. Ambrose Hall two-stepping to George, Garth, Randy, and Brooks and Dunn. Out of all of this rose one of my all time favorites: Garth Brook’s "The Dance"*. I’d like for it to be played at my funeral as it expresses my life’s philosophy. Sometimes it is better to leave it up to chance- to allow yourself to get lost, to risk a little… you’ll never know what was around that corner if you don’t. Almost always, it is well worth it. Someday that risk may bring my end; but I bet it was doing something worthwhile.
There was one (count it: 1) radio station in town that didn’t play country. Turns out that KIXY strictly filtered what they played to only the Top Pop. Really? Is that all there is? Time for rebellion! Thanks to Thomas Davis and his mix tapes, I discovered there was a lot more out there [Depeche Mode, New Order, Front 242]. A few occasionally made it through KIXY’s censors: bands such as Information Society, The Farm ["Altogether Now"], Crowded House, “Back to Life” by SoulIISoul, and a little song called "Edelweiss".
Even though Mrs. Ratliff over used him in theater class, the new age music of Ray Lynch stuck with me. His music creates worlds to explore…
I can’t finish the High school years without mentioning "Stand by Me"* by B.B. King. It bound our group of misfits together at the Shake Hands with Your Future camp at TTU. May Bud and the Smokers puff forever more… or just as long as the recording studios remain in malls. Oh. Wait-
COLLEGE
Finally in college, I DID discover that the hometown radio station was limiting. What everyone called old school retro was brand new to me. I could finally dump the mainstream for something interesting. My first roommate was heavily into random music, so that helped whet my appetite. [Toad the Wet Sprocket, The Church, Live (pre-stardom), Wire Train, Romeo+Juliet soundtrack, ] Being in college for the birth of grunge was awesome timing. It felt like we owned it! [NIN, Pearl Jam, Filter, Smashing Pumpkins, Soundgarden, misc Grunge] I luckily plugged into KTXT, Tech’s college radio, just before they pulled the plug on its soul. Back then, the DJ’s went out of their way to find the obscure and inventive so that they could blast it from the bell towers.
It seems each of my college friends had their own musical influence on me. My biggest debt is to Jeromy; he brought so much ‘out there’ stuff to me [Ten Hands, The Juliet Letters, Tank Girl Soundtrack, respect for Talking Heads, beginnings of ska and rockabilly]. Steve gave his Electronica, the beat line of Madonna’s “Justify My love”, and Bjork. Jett brought homespun do-it-yourself heavily influenced by Live and Radiohead. Somehow I stumbled into Cake and Dave Matthews Band from the frat boy trio; as much as I hate to admit it, they did benefit me after all.
Les Miserables came to Lubbock; I was instantly hooked. The movement and the spirit still haunt me to this day. If any of my friends happen to check out early, I think I would play “Empty Chairs at Empty Tables” at the wake. Morbid? Perhaps. But with feeling…
Toward the end of college around 1996, Wheez, Dave, Greg, and I decided to hang out on the deck at the river-front bar in San Angelo. There was this new band playing that was fresh back from Nashville for a new start. The lead man was a bit annoying, but you could tell he was proud of what his boys could do. He finally stepped out of the way and let them shine. As we listened, we were amazed at the depth of talent. When Henry started his instrumental of “Little Wing”, I knew we had stumbled onto something great. Los Lonely Boys was born.
GRADUATION INTO THE WORKING WORLD
After College, I could finally afford the CD’s and concerts that I wanted. I spent a lot of time and money going to Dave Matthews Band concerts. Too bad DMB eventually sold out… Lucky for MK and me, it wasn’t before they released ‘Crush.’ Music was one of the initial binders of MK and I; we need to re-discover that as it brought so much joy to our dating.
I can’t say that I fell into any musical movement during this time, except maybe to resist the mainstreaming of Alternative. So I set out to find something different. [Neil Finn/Finn Brothers, Keane, Nada Surf, Thriftstore Cowboys: "Dirtied Your Knees", "Beneath the Shoes"; Matisyahu: "King Without a Crown" Live, Linkin Park (guilty pleasure), Postal Service, Blue October, Israel Kamakawiwo’ole: "Somewhere Over the Rainbow/What a Wonderful World"]. I think J.Lo had a career around then, I’m not certain.
I got the chance to see Rent- it was an incredible experience for me. It’s expression of pure emotion and commentary on the times resonated deeply with me. Well done.
While I was desperately trying to avoid the mainstream, too often it came to me. MK and I are fans of Josh Groban. “The Prayer” in particular always stirs me. It was a revelation for what I was looking for- it is okay to like something in the mainstream IF the performer has bona fide talent. Lest I forget: The Dixie Chicks… another guilty pleasure that I gained from MK. Thank you, dear…
KIDS
Being a parent, my kids are just a big of an influence on me as I to them. Out of all of their kids shows, I find myself humming "Miss Spider’s Sunny Patch theme", the weekly Phineas and Ferb tune, and anything from Sandra Boynton’s Philadelphia Chickens. The rest are the spawn of the devil. I shall not give them or their purple dinosaur any air time!
RELIGIOUS
Lately- I have come to admit the place that religious music has always played in my life. I am much better for having some in the mix. It has a way of centering me; getting me back on my path.
My fondest memories from Wall include how the St. Ambrose Men’s choir sang “Behold the Lamb of God” on Easter Sundays in the early ‘90’s [arr. Father Bob Dufford, S.J., Univ. of Dayton]. They also introduced me to“Lord, When you Came to the Seashore” and “On Eagles Wings”. I pause for both whenever and wherever they are played.
The Narayan family kept me in church during my early college years with how they sang “One Bread, One Body” in the small church at St. Elizabeth’s in the mid ‘90’s. [Michelle and Britta- is that right?!] I was so sad to see them go…
Raider Awakening brought me Jars of Clay ["World’s Apart"*] , "Love Remains" by Collin Raye, and “Just Wait*” by Blues Traveller. I rediscovered "Pie Jesu"* from Requiem. The CRHP community gave me Casting Crowns ["Lifesong"*, "And now my Lifesong Sings"*, "East to West"] and Third Day ["Revelation"*, "Born Again"]. I can’t think of a better tune for Lent than “Carry my Cross” by Third Day for cleansing and understanding what my Lord went through for me.
Singing O Holy Night. Yep- vanity moment here. Christmas is more special to me when I can perform this song. I love to sing; but I don’t have a consistent voice in order to do it often. Somehow, I rise to the challenge for this song. My favorite memory of this song is from Christmas 2003. MK had miscarried just a day before; so that put us in a funk as we drove to Kansas City. There was a cloud over Christmas that year… until we gathered around Carol and her piano Christmas night to sing carols. There was something healing about singing O Holy Night that night. It didn’t matter if I was out of tune; it was the best it ever sounded to me.
So- my favorite song is every one that ever moved me… the ones that touched my soul and told it to pause and listen… the ones that stood out as a work of art… the ones that were not processed for mass consumption. This brings me to Britney. To Britney Spears and all of the other crappy Pop princes and princesses: thank you for Pop music. Your work made me rebel to find something worth listening to.
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